text;

[outlining]

My name is Megumi Fushiguro, a few days ago I, along with my classmate and teacher, were spirited away to Havenwell.

I need to go home as soon as possible, and everyone else likely feels the same way, so I'm offering a partnership that could mutually benefit both of us in money but more importantly a more efficient way to please the gods.

The requirements and guidelines are the following:

1. Any age or gender is fine, I don't care.
2. Keep things simple, hand-holding, shoulder holding, patting.
3. Kissing is not permitted.
4. Must be prepared to be contacted at any time in the week.
5. Hours can be negotiated.
6. Meetups are arranged in a day in advance.
7. This is an interpersonal relationship, I'm not interested in friends.

Thank you.

Comments

TEXT 1/2

[hansha]

FUSHIGURO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hansha]

PLSEA TRSURA YOUR OWN BDY??/,=??\???
WHTRU SAYIN

text

[zapdope]

[ Megumi? That's totally a girl's name! And she's looking for someone to hold hands with because she wants to go home ASAP! Why wouldn't he help out?? ]

Hello!
I can help out, if you'd like to hold hands with me!

[text]

[pinkmin]

[How very to the point. Vianca will also be very to the point.]

Hello Megumi. You may be interested in Petals & Pages. It is a place for exactly this purpose, if you need a location or hand to hold.

[HER HAND.]

[necromanswers]

How very business-minded. Affurgato has several staff who love to make money, if you feel like lending a hand. Literally, that is, when we're off-duty.

My brother could definitely use an extra hand to hold.

[text]

[jivitadana]

[How practical. But it gets the job done.]

Sure. If it's to help you get home.

1/2

[abracafcku]

how dare u

[abracafcku]

But also I like money so I guess you're right.

[necromanswers]

"i guess" he says

[abracafcku]

"i don't want cake tonight at dinner" she says

[abracafcku]

ok so my overbearing sibling aside, if you want some easy cash, I'm here. but also? are you okay, homie? did you forget how to have fun? this reads like a corporate ad for a robot.

[outlining]

Use a spellchecker, Itadori.

[outlining]

[ Well isn't this reply enthusiastic, but hey, works for him. ]

Sure.
When are you free? We could arrange a meetup.

gently handwaves this lmk if this is ok

[outlining]

Hello. I visited there a while back to read some of the books, but I'm relieved to know that it also serves that purpose.

Were you the pink-haired girl working there?

[ He might have just quietly read for a few minutes and then left. ]

[outlining]

As I said, I have reasons to go home and if your staff wants money, then we work something so both parties could benefit from pleasing the Gods. I'm not going to comment on your brother because it looks like he already spoke his piece.

[ Because sibling squabbling is a thing he won't touch. ]

But I appreciate the offer, do you have some kind of schedule list I could work with?

[outlining]

Thanks. Anything you want to negotiate about the list?

perfectly

[pinkmin]

That is correct.

I believe I know who you are. You left before I could sit with you that time.

[outlining]

Yeah, that was me. Sorry about that.

I had to leave early because I had a bad feeling that two idiots would have come in and disrupted the shop while dragging me away. So I had to leave before it came to that

[ And they did drag him off after he left. ]

[outlining]

Of course it's an ad, why would I have to have fun to do get physical contact? I don't have any reason or interest to hold anyone's hand otherwise.

[hansha]

TREASURE YOUR OWN BODY
ALSO YOU CAN ALWAYS ASK ME

?????

[outlining]

Now reread the ad post again.

[ Contact with just Itadori and Gojou isn't enough. ]

[hansha]

[ Okay he calmed down significantly now. ]

You don't feel anything about getting paid for touches?

[outlining]

I don't really care, it doesn't affect me.

[ To which he distantly thinks, oh yeah, Yuuji probably still doesn't know about the Zenin clan. It's for the best. ]

If it could somehow make me favorable to the Gods, then that's more than enough.

[hansha]

[ Haaah? ]

What do you mean favourable to the gods? You wanna appease those who one-sidedly kidnapped you here and forced you to help their planet???

[ Yuuji is all for helping people, but c'mon. ]

[abracafcku]

no no, corporate ad. like the "wanted: one desk drone to lose all humor and sense of self. work hours 7AM to 12AM." absolute blegh

you could've jazzed it up a little though. given it a little pizzazz to catch the eye. but i guess it's worked for you since you got all these responses, huh? with the right wording though, you probably could've gotten waaaay more.