firstbump: (recounting pain)
Ardbert ([personal profile] firstbump) wrote in [community profile] hugtopia 2020-08-31 10:46 pm (UTC)

"Giving me his auracite without thinking about how it would hurt you," Ardbert replies gently, keeping one arm around her while his other hand starts to stroke down her tail. "Hurting yourself for my sake will only hurt me in turn."

He sighs, looking into her eyes with a softened gaze. "I'm still overly reliant on you, still adjusting to life. Give too much to me, and I'll only start loathing myself. You give just the right amount now that I don't even have to worry about falling over the rocky precipice. But there have been times I have dangled just off that cliff, only holding on by broken and bleeding fingers. Sometimes you've pulled me back from falling, and other times, I've pulled myself back up. But taking something like Hades's auracite from you forever would crumble the rock beneath me, and I'd fall into that pit without any way of climbing back out."

He breaks his gaze, looking down and to the side. "I felt that way the entire time I was on the Source. The over a hundred years I was a shade, cursed to do naught but drift. But even though my heart hurts now, I'm at peace with myself—and I never want to loathe myself for hurting those I love ever again. All right?"

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