01. Primus | Video

[5thchild]

[Kaworu comes to the screen with a kind and gentle smile. There is no reason for video, but he likes to look at people ]

Hello. I understand that people can not choose to return to their original worlds on their own, so I'm assuming I will be here for a while. Therefor I'm looking for a piano or a violin. I'm not sure where I can find one; not to buy - I simply wish to play.

[and now that is out of the way, what truly matters is:]

I have a question, for those who wish to answer it. Are you happy?

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[5thchild]

[ kaworu does not know what "different kinds of love" mean. To him, love is love. But it's the next word that catches his attention ] "Virtue"?

[jivitadana]

[Minato nods and sees that he needs to explain.]

Mn, different qualities to how you feel about people. Feeling goodwill toward others. Having compassion. Feeling happy for other people. And treating people equally no matter who they are.

[5thchild]

[ there is a small pause, mostly because that's entering a realm of possibilities that kaworu never really though too much about - he had no need to before ]

If people show such a thing - then you will love them?

[jivitadana]

I think for these, it's more of how I feel toward them. If they don't love me, that's fine.

[He couldn't control how other people felt, only how he could feel about them.]

[5thchild]

Do you want to be loved by others? [ a rather simple question, in Kaworu's mind. But very broad, too. Most just don't realize it because the word "love" is so easily used by Kaworu. ]

[jivitadana]

It isn't necessary.

[Minato smiles a bit, thinking about it.]

I think how I feel about other people is more important.

[5thchild]

So your feelings exist, regardless of how others feel. [ kaworu is the same in the end. he loves Shinji, regardless of how Shinji feels for him. In fact, that matters so little that kaworu was called a traitor by Shinji himself, before ]

Do you consider your feelings important, though? [ he did say how he feels is what matters ]

[jivitadana]

[Minato thinks about that because it is a valid question.]

I do, if they're there and enough to remind me to make sure other people's feelings are more important than mine.

Is that the same as you?

[5thchild]

[ the same? Well: ] There is an important feeling. My love for Shinji-kun is important. It is the reason why I act, react, live and die. And it is the reason why things fell into place the way they did. [ nothing else about Kaworu matters, but that specific thing: his love for Shinji.

So while his other feelings aren't important, that specific one is ]

If your feelings are not important, do you see value in your existence?

[jivitadana]

[That's one reason to exist, Minato supposes, if that's how angels are supposed to exist. Or at least, in Kaworu's case. Kaworu's next question though is also a fair question and one Minato's asked himself several times over.]

I think my feelings are important, but just not as important as others. There's value in my existence, perhaps because other people have also given it value.

[Minato smiles a little at that and holds his hand out if Kaworu is willing to take it.]

There's also the question of how real we are now here, if we've both died.

[5thchild]

[ Kaworu watches the hand for a moment. He knows what the gesture means, it's just....

well, no one has ever reached for him before.

(well, Shinji did, sort of? He barely touched Kaworu, however, it was almost too light of a touch to be called so)

But since Minato is offering, Kaworu absolutely does not shy away, his hand reaching for the other's and he does what's most natural: he squeezes it gently ]

How does it feel? Another's touch.

[jivitadana]

[Minato holds onto Kaworu's hand gently too. This is the first time touching an angel, but that wasn't the important part. He was checking too for something else.]

Real. I don't know yet why this place would resurrect those who have died.

[He looks at their hands.]

How does it feel to you?

[5thchild]

Warm. [ Kaworu feels the other's hand for a moment, fingertips caressing the skin - or perhaps just exploring. It's different from Shinji's.

The rhetoric question is still in his mind, though ] Do you want to find an answer? Would it satisfy you if you knew?

[jivitadana]

[Minato's used to holding hands with someone else, but he doesn't want to take this for granted either. He could leave in the blink of an eye. He may as well live and remember things like this.]

It would let me understand how the gods make their decisions on who to bring here.

[He looks at the statue of the four gods at the fountain.]

Or if it's random. Would you want to know why you're alive again?

[5thchild]

Do you hope for them to bring someone in particular? [ that would explain why Minato wishes to understand the gods on that aspect. ]

I have no interest in it. Whatever reason one may believe there is, it will not change my circumstances. [ that he should be dead and shouldn't be here. ]

[jivitadana]

[Minato smiles, thinking about that, and shakes his head.]

They belong at home.

[If people wanted to be home, they should stay home. If people have already passed, then they should have been left alone to remain that way, so to speak. But here they were. But he might be overthinking it.]

You're here now. Were you interested in helping the gods save this world?

[5thchild]

They do not need my help.

[ kaworu smiles, shaking his head softly after ] Lilin are capable of doing so themselves if they want to. They are capable of learning, growing and changing. As long they are alive, anywhere can be Paradise if they try.