[video]

[commediadellanime]

Goooood evening, everyone!

[It’s like, 3pm, that’s not that late at all. But Childe doesn’t care about that! What he cares about is getting information.

The camera has been propped up a stand, so you can see Childe from the waist up - a red-haired man (boy?) who can’t be more than 20, with a red mask tucked into his hair and blue eyes that are crinkled into a smile.]

I’ve got a couple questions, but I’ll try not to take up too much of your time.

[Hopefully less time than it took him to really figure out this piece of tech. Could you imagine what it would be like if they had this sort of thing in Teyvat?]

First off, probably one that’s been asked a lot - just how serious is everyone about this whole… Cuddling up to people to rejuvenate the world or whatever? Like, that’s not literal, right?

[Please tell him it’s not literal. He’s not the cuddly type. Still, time to move on to the more important question. He perks up, grin getting even brighter.]

Second question! I’m sure I’m not the only fighter here, and hopefully I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to get rusty… So, is there anyone who’d want to spar with me?

[He claps his hands together.]

And that’s it! Oh, right - you can call me Childe. And anyone interested, just let me know whenever you want. Or attack me out of the blue! That's fine, too.

Comments

[commediadellanime]

Gods die the same as anyone else.

[Or at least they do in Teyvat!]

...The way it works back home, if an Archon loses their power or dies then another god will eventually gain the ability to take their place. Who's to say there won't be an ascension from someone more willing to send us home if we kill the gods currently reigning?

[daikonrose]

I see!! So there's a system like that in place!

[ She's leaning in a little closer to the screen, a sparkle in her eye. Hearing all this cool stuff about other worlds is the one genuinely fun thing about being stuck here. ]

An "archon"--you said that word before, too--is some kind of extra, super, mega-powerful god, then? Or a ruler god?

[commediadellanime]

Something like that.

[Extra, super, mega-powerful... Well. He could use that to describe some Archons.]

You know, there's someone here who knows a lot about Archons. Mr. Zhongli - yellow eyes, dark hair in a ponytail, wears a lot of cor lapis jewelry. I'm sure he'd love to answer any questions about them in more detail than I could provide!

[Heh. Hehehe.]

[daikonrose]

Oh, an expert!! I'd definitely want to hear his wisdom, if I encounter such a person!

[ How kind of Childe to volunteer him! ]

It's kinda hard to say if there's a system like that here... but maybe someone like that would have the insight that brings everything together!

[commediadellanime]

Oh, I'm sure you will! He's really hard to miss.

[He's not sorry at all. Zhongli deserves to be outed after fooling Childe for so long.]

If you meet Mr. Zhongli, make sure you ask him about Morax. He's the oldest of all the Archons, and there's loads of stories about him.

[A pause.]

But I'm not sure how comparable it is to how the gods here work.

[daikonrose]

[ She nods seriously, and there's a faint mutter of "Morax, Morax..." as if to commit the name to memory. ]

Even if it ends up not being comparable, we won't know until we find out!! [ And besides, it's! Very interesting! ]

Ah, but that does mean killing the gods here would still be a pretty big gamble, if you could actually do it. Your strategy for playing it safe is probably the smartest one, for now.

[ Not that she's planning to adopt it herself. ]

[commediadellanime]

We can start with one and see how it goes from there.

[Is he being serious... It’s hard to tell...]

No point upsetting the power balance entirely without knowing what’ll happen to us first.

[daikonrose]

[ It... it kinda is hard to tell, yeah! There's a confused little furrow of her brow, but she tilts her head thoughtfully. That would... be the logical progression of things to try, if they were gonna go the god killing route. ]

Yes... though to be honest, at this point I'd settle for getting to actually hear from them, for once. It's kinda hard to imagine how to get any of them close enough for that killing blow to begin with.

In any case, doesn't all this murder plotting conflict with your plan to get on their good side, a little bit?

[commediadellanime]

[It's a good route and totally won't doom them all!!]

They don't... Talk to you at all? Not even through your dreams or anything like that? Nothing at all?

[He shrugs.]

Maybe, but maybe they'll be forgiving! You never know. And I'm sure they get it a lot.

[daikonrose]

Not at all! [ She huffs, but then there's a pause, because wait. Hold on. Actually. ] --Well, it did kinda seem like weird dreams were going around recently, and there was that thing with the earthquakes a while back.... Nothing very clear cut, though.

... Jeez, you should try to bottle and sell that optimism of yours.