hugtopia | cute as all hell in a literal sense [text.]

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cute as all hell in a literal sense [text.]

hey does anyone know how to phrase "what am I supposed to do in the body of someone of the opposite sex" in a way that isn't creepy

that isn't my real question though that's just a joke to get us rolling

so I don't have my phones and all the pictures I took back home right? but now I've been a couple people the last few days because that's just a fucking thing now I guess and I could take their pictures
(again I can't stress this enough not in a creepy way)
still not everyone but I've been thinking about this since I got here
it'd be useful to have something that you could use to let everyone know to keep an eye out for friends and family in case they show up right? or if there's someone you need to know about because you don't want to see them
without telling a dozen people individually I mean, that's a huge pain
I just can't figure out a way that some dickhead couldn't use it the same way
like a crazy stalker ex tracking down their victim

also I'm not organizing shit I just want it crowdfunded or whatever
discuss

[ private to héctor. ]
hey
you home? can we talk?

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[He wishes that he could assure this boy, tell him something about his Coco. But he doesn't the faintest idea what she would or wouldn't do. What she likes, what she can handle, he doesn't know anything.

He knows himself and he doesn't have much to offer there.]

Trapped in yourself. You can't reach out because the good things feel like they'll turn into pain. And for some reason, the pain is all you can allow. As if being allowed to hate every second of it makes it easier. And the kind ones will find out everything from a touch.

[Even if Cliff proved him wrong there. He draws the blanket tighter around himself and closes his eyes.]

I wish I had better advice. I'm sorry I don't. The best I've got is... ask a lot. Ask her to ask first. Ask for yourself if it helps. Practice and... take it slow. Find workarounds. And remember that, even if someone becomes an exception to fear, that doesn't mean everyone has to be. You don't owe anybody anything. You don't even owe that person if the day's a bad one.

[Time to just...shift uncomfortably in this chair... He didn't like it when Raven called him out, he doesn't like it now with Héctor doing it. It's not completely correct, but more fits than he'd care to admit, so let's just! be quiet for a minute here!! before sighing.]

No, she's good about it. She knows me better than a lot of people, so she doesn't push me. We...talked about it a little. [Having this conversation as Coco with Coco's dad is miserable.] Things here would be a lot easier if she was around, but even thinking about that makes me feel bad. She'd miss home.

[THE POINT BEING]

I want to help. You know what I mean, though. [Obviously.]

I'm glad to hear that.

[He's glad his daughter is kind. He's glad Cliff is getting the kindness he deserves. He's glad it works, in its way.

He nods and draws a shuddering breath.]

I know what you mean. I was waiting in the land of the dead for everyone else to die. Not the greatest feeling. I'm not sure what I'd do if she showed up here.

[He's already sobbed himself dry just for the image of her. He shakes his head.]

In any case, you're not the only one with that problem. The touch thing. This is hard for me too. So, don't feel pressured by me. If I'm bemoaning it, it's because of myself.

[He sighs heavily, moving his head back to stare at the ceiling and changing how he sits so he can tip the chair back onto its back two legs. He knows Héctor is right and is more grateful than not for the assurance, but it doesn't make him feel any better about it all. He can't help, and he can't question just what it all was that changed Héctor to be like him, shying away from contact. It explicitly wasn't his business by nature and by request, and there wasn't anything he could do about it anyway.]

Yeah...

[He turns a sad smile down at his glass of water. He laughs quietly at himself.]

Why don't I spare you some torment and let you go? Save you from dealing with some old man's feelings and troubles. But, I need to ask for just one more thing.

[He looks apologetic at least.]

I know this is awkward but... could I take a picture?

[aaaaaaa well -- ]

I was the one that bugged you to hang out...

[Yes, it was for Héctor's sake, and SUPER YES, it was awkward as fuck, but still... This was his choice, and it feels wrong to let Héctor forget about that.

The request makes him tint a little pink, and he worries with the end of one of Coco's braids again. It wasn't a huge surprise -- he expected it, kind of, and almost offered it himself before chickening out.]

Uh, sure... [It'd be pretty hypocritical of him to deny him one, since he snapped one for himself earlier.] I'm not good at smiling for, like, school pictures and that kind of thing... I might make her look kinda weird.

[He waves a hand. Cliff asked to talk seriously and came here to offer him an otherwise impossible chance. It was hardly ideal conditions for "hanging out". It certainly wasn't any sort of bugging.

He kind of expects the blush. He tries not to think of how it makes Coco look because he has to think too much of how it makes Cliff look. He does shake his head.]

Don't worry about that. In fact, maybe don't look at me. Try looking somewhere else and thinking about something else. It can be, ah, what's the word... candid? Something like that. Maybe you can think about her.

[ALL THAT DOES IS MAKE HIM BLUSH EVEN HARDER hhhh

If he wasn't with someone that suffered through Hell, he'd be certain this was some weird form of torture... He wishes Sylvia were here with her earnest excitement, and Oscar with his easy-to-laugh-at self. Héctor was similar, and all, but not even close to being so familiar... Cliff casts his gaze about the kitchen, making a bit of a face -- though not a grimace -- as he thinks.]

Is it cool if I look around a little? Not all over the place, I just think if I'm not staying still, it might be easier to relax...

[Okay, okay, that was a bad choice. He tries his best not to laugh.]

Ha, yes, sorry. Feel free.

[He'll just give you a minute there Cliff. He's got to set up the phone to take a shot in any case.]

[Phew, good. Clifford immediately gets to his feet, chair scraping a little too loudly for comfort, and sets about wandering through the kitchen, touching this and that, shuffling something here to there to here again. Little fidgety things while he takes his mind off the request at hand. He doesn't expect to find anything, with Héctor and Nekane not having been there for much longer than him, but he plays at doing an investigation anyway to distract him even more. He ends up thinking about Coco anyway, wondering still what she would think about all this and wishing he could see her. Being grateful that she was so good to him about his various issues. Damn, what a kickass girlfriend he has.

Little by little he relaxes again, and since all things considered, the day's been pretty successful, he doesn't even look hopelessly bored or annoyed. He's in an alright mood! It shows on his face eventually, even if it can't match up to the brilliance of Coco's.]

[He tries to fade into the background. For once, it isn't because he wants to disappear. He simply wants to watch, an unseen observer, like the ghost he really is, with no impact on whatever unfolds. Cliff just fidgets and explores. Indeed, there isn't much to find. They brought nothing extra with them from Hell. It's all the same equipment and the same utensils.

He doesn't have anything to hide, even if Cliff moves on from the kitchen, wandering to the bedroom where a bed is neatly made, unslept in, and has a framed photo set by it, or to the other room, where everything has been deconstructed, chairs taken from the kitchen, the bed there moved about so it's not a bed but a bracing tower turn on it's side and holding a roof of blankets connecting to borrowed kitchen chairs, a mattress on the ground covered in pillows and random bits and bobs. Notably, there's a guitar and songbook in the back there.

He's not concerned with either. He watches Cliff wearing Coco's face, the way it relaxes into something calm. He wishes, suddenly, that he could've just been a wandering ghost. Even if he never interacted again, even if he only watched, wouldn't that have been more than he could've dreamed? He didn't have to be involved... But he's fooling himself and he knows it. Eventually, he's got to snap that picture.]

... Muchas gracias.

[The words pull him from his idle wandering, and he blinks up with a hint of surprise.]

Got it? ...Could you send it to me?

[He wants...more pics of his very good gf... Though he'll be too embarrassed to look at it for a while, not being able to separate himself from the fact that it's actually him.]

[Cliff got really lost in space there, didn't he? He smiles.]

Sure thing, kid. Just give me a minute...

[He focuses intently on tapping at the phone and sliding into the right boxes.]

Aaaand there. Should be it. I think.

[Gosh, it's so much more convenient when Héctor understands technology at least a little bit. Cliff hears his phone ding and checks to confirm that it's the photo and not a belated reply to his rambling on the internet. A girl!!]

Thanks. Guess I should get going...

[He considers asking about what he's seen, as inconsequential as it would be in any other home, but, well, things are good. He came in here upsetting Héctor, he doesn't need to leave the same way. Time to head out! Cliff walks back towards the door, pausing to offer a fist out to the man in farewell. Do they know about fistbumps in Hell...]

Later, man.

[He follows to the door, half to see him out, half to take in every last second with the image of his girl. The offered fist out makes him tilt his head a moment, but then, his smile returns and he bumps his knuckles against Cliffs. Against Coco's.]

So long, kid.

[He leans against the doorframe and watches with an ache in his heart as those braids go swinging one last time.]

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cute as all hell in a literal sense [text.]

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