[ video ]

[5thchild]

Hello. [ have a SMILE :) There is no reason for this to be video other than Kaworu not really bothering to change the settings on his communicator ] I am pleased to see that the city is different since my last visit. You are truly amazing, proving that you can heal even when all seems dire. Congratulations. [ kanworu's smile grows bigger ]

My presence here and existence in this world is still quite irrelevant. But because healing this world might be the only way to be returned to my universe, I will help. Positive contact, right? [ kaworu absolutely does not mind it at all. Regardless, that is the perfect way to ask his next question ]

Is contact with others something you are comfortable with? The touch of another person, is it something you seek?

Comments

[5thchild]

I have no reason to exist in this world. Good or bad, it's irrelevant, in the end. [ kaworu is dead, in his world. He still has to return, though. ] I don't have many answers in regards to it, it was not my decision.

What changed?

[unpocoloco]

[He lifts a brow.]

Kind of an ominous thing to say there, kid. It's pretty relevant if you're happy or not. [But he didn't expect it to be his decision in any case.] But I mostly mean where you went, in the time between.

In any case, I suppose the shortest answer is that I changed.

[5thchild]

[ no, it truly is not relevant, at least kaworu doesn't think so. But that also doesn't matter, so he doesn't argue ] I am dead in my world, therefor I that's what I returned to.

Are you happy to have changed like that?

[unpocoloco]

[He doesn't flinch or look too regretful. He is a little sorry, but he doesn't say, so nodding instead.]

That's about how things go for me too.

[He does want to ask about the afterlife, if there was any, but that much seems tactless to ask. On the other hand, this kid seems to have no problem asking the hard questions. He shrugs rather helplessly.]

I... guess not. I think I was happier, before. But it was kind of an important change. I needed to keep myself and others safe.

[5thchild]

[ Death matters little to Kaworu, and the "afterlife" is only a new cycle of rebirth. Something like that, at least, but ultimately very confusing. ]

You changed for others. Are others happy with those changes?

[unpocoloco]

[It feels like a simplification, not quite right, but he can't see how to argue it. Or much point.]

Mm... It depends. Some rougher friends I've had would be. People who knew how I used to be aren't so much. But, the ones who were with me, they understand that it had to be that way too. There isn't an option where I could've stayed unchanged without being hurt and they are happy that I'm still here. It's a compromise, I suppose.

cuts in because ???? why not I guess

[awooligan]

[Helpfully,]

voting no
much as I appreciate the space

why not!!!

[unpocoloco]

We're putting up to vote now?

As I said, there wasn't an option for otherwise.
But my sincerest apologies for... not disappointing?

[awooligan]

my opinion should always be valued

eh it's okay half the time you still are

[unpocoloco]

Wow. Thanks. How valuable an opinion it is.

[awooligan]

you're welcome

[5thchild]

Have they told you they would be hurt and unhappy, had you not changed? Or was that an assumption you have made based on your own perception of reality?

[unpocoloco]

[His brows furrow. He does not like that look there.]

They didn't. But they care about me. I would've been torn apart, mind and soul. There'd be nothing left. I know they wouldn't want that.

[5thchild]

[ your friend seems to disagree. But it's the thing about Lilin, they are restrained by their own idea of the world; if they believe the world is a certain way, then they will be restricted by that and hold on to just that.

It is not Kaworu's place to tell them the world is far more vast than what they see and cling to. So he nods and still smiles ]

If that's how you see it, then that is how it is.

[unpocoloco]

[His mouth opens. He wants to argue, but he's not exactly sure what it is he's arguing. That it's more than just what he sees? That it's what others see? That he's had to work hard to see it this way?

Is he really trying to explain things or does he just want to defend himself?

His mouth shuts, lips pressing. He doesn't smile back, unsettled. Even if he did want to defend himself, he's not going to publically explain where he's been. He's not going to detail what happened.]

I'd hope so. [Doubt stirs in his mind.] I hope this... helps with whatever you're trying to figure out.

[5thchild]

[ it's okay Héctor, most people want to defend themselves and the way they see the world too. It's only human. And truthfully? Kaworu loves that about humans.

But that last part gets Kaworu to pause. What is he trying to figure out? Nothing in particular, in all honesty he just wants to learn ]

I simply wish to know more about you. There is no other purpose than that. [ Kaworu has nothing else but that ]

[unpocoloco]

You sure about that? Evidently, I'm not that great of a person to get to know.

[He manages to say that wryly, rather than will full-on unhappiness.]

What about you? Are you comfortable with all this?

[5thchild]

People always feel pain in their hearts. The heart is easy to wound, that's why living is painful. But it's still worthy of love. So are you.

[ and you have no idea how much he means that. ]

It matters little how I feel. [ but he will answer, though ] I am not upset by contact, but I am not meant to exist in this world. My presence here is unnecessary.

[unpocoloco]

[He can feel his own expression close off. There's an immediate thought in his head; You're wrong. He's not worthy and he never has been. He just takes what he can get, for better or worse. But dios, that is not something he's going to say to a kid.]

You keep saying that. Unnecessary, irrelevant, that doesn't matter. Why is that? Clearly people disagree, including the gods.

[5thchild]

[ in all fairness, kaworu is not exactly a kid. Not a normal one, at least. ]

People? [ most people would say kaworu's role was done as well. They too would say he was irrelevant. ] My role in this life has been fulfilled. There is no reason for my existence to continue in this world.

[unpocoloco]

[He doesn't like this, but now it's for another reason. Amazing that he can be both uncomfortable and still worry about the not-kid.]

People. Most people would say that existing itself is a reason to exist.

What role do you mean?

[5thchild]

And yet such is not an existence Lilin are satisfied with, is it? [ humans grow and change, that is something they want to do. Just existing is not ]

My role was to die. By doing so, I erased all of my race along with me, giving way for Lilin to survive instead.

[unpocoloco]

[His eyes close for a moment, as though pained. A sacrifice. The kid is a sacrifice. He wishes he were more surprised.]

That's a cruel thing. I don't know why you were asked that, but it's cruel.

What are the Lilin?

[5thchild]

Lilin are humans. [ actually it's a lot more broader than that, but it's easier to explain like this ]

There was no cruelty in it and I decided it on my own. Humans were not the existence that should perish.

I am very happy I made that choice. [ the only choice he ever made, in fact ]

[unpocoloco]

[His brows go up and then back down.]

You shouldn't have had to make such a choice. Why was it down to humans and your kind?