A Smile Best Suits a Hero

[aunitedeorzea]

[Guess who's back and awake, but Alphinaud's definitely not in a chipper mood. He hadn't really used the network all that much and certainly not the text function. He's had a lot of time to think so far. But not nearly enough time to process everything. After a lot of pent up emotions, he finally spoke up with a quick text.]

It's funny what a new perspective will do to you.

What do you think it means to be "a hero"? What kind of personality traits and ideals would you need to classify yourself as something as lofty as that?

Inquiring minds want to know.

[OOC: Alphinaud and Alisaie have been updated to the end of Shadowbringers, which means there will be spoilers for end game as of right now up until Endwalker comes out. If you would prefer to not be spoiled, please let me know and I'll do my best to avoid it.]

Comments

[unpocoloco]

I've never called myself a hero and I don't think I ever will, but I've met a few who I think are heroes.

I usually consider them people who are determined to save others somehow. Whether trying to help large groups or stopping apocalypses or just risking their life for the lives of strangers. They're the ones who do it without thinking or expecting anything, who won't throw others to the dogs if it suits them. Good people, whether they believe themselves to be.

[aunitedeorzea]

[There's something about this answer that makes him hesitant to answer. He's emotionally tired and for a moment, it was as if Arenvald had been here. It made him think back to his last conversation with his friend. And the guilt that he'd likely never be able to fulfill his dream...

It took a few minutes to get a response. Thank god this is a text, because he's been emotional all day so far.]

And what if you can't do that? What if you're just putting innocents at risk for trying?

['What If I'm not up to the task,' is the main message here, but he's not bold enough to include that to someone he doesn't know.]

[unpocoloco]

Do you truly believe that?

[Something about all this, the phrasing, the time, makes him think that this is a much bigger deal than this person wants it to seem.]

I've only ever weighed the cost of things on a smaller scale. Like I said, not a hero type. But, what I try to do even for that, is that I weigh what it is that I can live with. When the cost is high no matter the option, I ask myself, which is the option I can bear and which one isn't. Sometimes the result costed me dearly. Sometimes it costed others and I had to live with that. There's no guarantee that anything pans out the way you want.

But, I think if you're trying for so many people, if you're not purposefully throwing people under the bus in order to see things through, then you're doing something good. Whether you can succeed or not, you can only do what you can do. It's not your fault if you've tried what you can.

[aunitedeorzea]

['Weigh what it is that I can live with'. It was such an obvious answer, but it was hard to accept when you had this fear of disappointing everyone. That maybe you're not the person that everyone expects, but you don't want to let anybody down. It took another few minutes for him to get a response back, thinking about what to say in response.]

You make a compelling point. One that I'm not sure if I can quite grasp in full just yet. I want to believe what I'm doing is good, but I... Sometimes I wonder if that's good enough.

[Dropping any pretense that that could be in regards to somebody else asking at this point.]</small.

[unpocoloco]

[With the pretense fallen away, he feels himself smile faintly for a moment. Not that it can be seen.]

It doesn't have to be. Or rather, whatever you can do is already good enough. Whether you succeed or not. I've met many heroes, like I said. Some of them failed. But, they're still heroes. They still gave all they had and then continue to do so after. That's something to be proud of.

It's a big weight either way. Not one I'd want to carry. I think you're more than allowed to be a little afraid or overwhelmed sometimes. Take your time with things. If nothing else, you have that here.

Oh when you miss an HTML error...

[aunitedeorzea]

I'll... have to pull the share for the both of us. [Meaning Arenvald, but not clarified here.] Because he entrusted his dreams to me... But I don't know if I can live up to his expectations...

It be like that sometimes...

[unpocoloco]

If he cared for you, then he'll understand you're doing your best. If he doesn't understand, if he can't see that this is hard for you, then I can't imagine he's a very good friend. But I'm sure it's not like that. Go easy on yourself. It should be faith, not expectation.

[aunitedeorzea]

[He understands his point, but he doubts that Arenvald meant to come off insensitive. He knew the message should have been soothing, but it just felt like extra pressure. Pressure that he was certain that he had not considered.]

...Yeah, you're right. I just need to take it one day at a time.

[unpocoloco]

I know that can be easier said than done. Try to remember those around you, the ones you can count on. Even heroes need help much of the time. Might be as simple as listening.

[aunitedeorzea]

['The ones you can count on' was a little skewed at the moment, but things would run their course and settle themselves out eventually.]

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.

[wakemelater]

Is it lofty?

[Where he's from, the title of "hero", while admirable, is not rare or reserved for a select few.

But he thinks of the few heroes he truly admires.]

Anyone can be a hero. But I think it involves a willingness to do what needs to be done, despite fear or consequences. Even if it means death. A kind of selflessness to help others before yourself.

[aunitedeorzea]

And what about your own dreams in the process? What if you can no longer do what you've set out to do because you wanted to be a hero?

I'm beginning to understand just how heavy those expectations are.

[wakemelater]

Where I'm from, it's not always a choice. It's up to fate. Or prophecy. Either way, it usually requires some kind of sacrifice.

[He thinks of his sister, and his friend, who both gave their lives to protect others. And the prophecies that foretold their fates.]

It is a heavy burden.

Are you a hero?

[aunitedeorzea]

[It never seemed to be a choice. If Arenvald's hopes and dreams felt heavy to carry, what of all the dreams of all those who relied on the Warrior of Light?]

Not at all. Some people have regarded me as such, but I... don't think of myself as one.

I just don't want to disappoint anybody.

[wakemelater]

Of the heroes I know, none thought of themselves as such.

[There were exceptions, of course, but he wasn't familiar with them.]

I think...I think you have to do what you feel is right, no matter what anyone else thinks.

[aunitedeorzea]

Would simply doing my best be enough to be regarded as a hero though?

[Because he has the feeling if it was, anybody could do it.]

[wakemelater]

I think it depends.

[Which is not a great answer, he knows.]

For some, being a hero just comes naturally, so doing your best may be all that's needed. Sometimes all it takes is one act of bravery or kindness. But in my experience, it's usually not that simple.

[aunitedeorzea]

[Not that he expects a great answer. It was hard to say. If nothing else, he was more or less just letting off steam. Now that he's gotten this far, he wonders if he should have made the post in the first place. Maybe it was childish of him in retrospect? Either way, what's done was done.]

There's not much that can be done about it. I'll do my best to uphold my promise. I cannot guarantee that I won't make mistakes along the way, but it's all I've got.