hugtopia | How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,

[He did see. It was horrible. It hadn't been fair and it never will be. So he says nothing to that, his shoulders sagging with the weight.

He's a little surprised by the way Faust's vehemence turns in a different direction, but at least it's easy enough to answer.]

The rhyme... it's... an old rhyme... centuries old... The bird is killed... his name is... Cock Robin... The rhyme tells... of his death... and funeral... Naming your kid... after one who... is murdered... seems sort of... cruel, doesn't it...?

[And that's beside the suggestiveness. A kid named that in his time would've been bullied mercilessly.]

[He figured he was going for the suggestive angle, but maybe not after all...]

...I wasn't aware of such a rhyme. But our worlds aren't the same, so it could have a different origin in mine. Not that I care what humans decide to name their children... and even if he's made an effort to accept wizards, he's still a servant of Central Kingdom...

[The latter is spoken with clear distaste.]

[He's glad he didn't go that angle, given Faust's reaction. But just after getting defensive over the man, he dismisses him.]

What does... that mean...? Servant of... Central Kingdom... Is that someplace... bad...?

[He hesitates a moment. He only told him of Alec in relatively vague terms, didn't he...]

...The kingdom of today's Central Country was founded four hundred years ago by Alec Granvelle, first of the Granvelle royal family.

[It's still hardly a full explanation, but assuming Teo hasn't already forgotten, it should be enough to answer the gist of his question.]

[His eyes go wide and round. He stares, dumbly, his mouth even more twisted up than usual. Slowly, marginally, his head begins to shake.]

No... No...

[He doesn't know why he's saying that. It's clearly what happened. But the idea is so repulsive, it just doesn't sit right in his mind. They made him king. They made that rotten murderous bastard king.]

That... rat...! That b-- [He tries to speak too fast, falling into a fit of coughing.]

Do... do they know...?

[Teo's horrified reaction isn't a surprise at this point, though he can't get any satisfaction out of it. It's far too late for it to mean anything... although he can at least appreciate that he feels that way, when so many humans would rather cheer as he burned.]

[His grip on Teo's hand tightens a fraction, whether at his coughing fit or his attempts to insult Alec, it's hard to say.]

No. There's no record of my execution, or any persecution that followed... very few know the truth of what happened, which now includes you.

[Welcome to the club, do you feel special?]

[His eyes flash with anger and he hears himself growl involuntarily before shutting that down with a press of his remaining lips.

He hates this club.]

Revisionism... that's what... that's called... [As if just burning Faust at the stake wasn't evil enough. He frowns down at the floor.]

...Someone... should say something... someone... who would be... listened to... An entire country... is built... on your pain... and suffering...

[He shakes his head and squeezes Faust's hand back.]

I'm sorry...

[He glances over at the growl, but then he's scowling down at his knees.]

There's no point. If those humans who knew me wouldn't lift a finger to defend me then, I can only imagine what conclusions the humans of today would jump to. No doubt they'd reject the truth, or believe the charge of treason must have been deserved and use that as another reason to condemn wizards. I'd hate to ruin their perfect image of the Holy Wizard Faust.

[He speaks the title with obvious contempt. But he looks more tired than bitter, and there's the faintest hint of worry.]

I don't care about any of that anymore. Let them have their pretty lies. That Faust is long gone, either way.

[Any suggestion that people change and grow with generations-- as carefully as he could've said such a thing, knowing the delicate situation-- is gone in a moment, evaporated, vaporized.]

The fucking what...?

[He feels hot and dizzy with anger, a ghost of the fever that took his life and who he was. There's nowhere for it to go, so it simply boils him, despite the fact he's cold as ever.]

I care... They have... no right...! [He's having trouble speaking, his words scrambling in growls.] Hell with... their image... all the wizards... who will be born... wondering why... they can't be loved too... like a fake you... The graves they... spit on... including what... would be yours... If they won't... listen to you... to a wizard... then every decent... human you meet... must speak up... including your sage...

[The words echo, reminiscent of a girl's long past, but he can't part his anger enough to focus on it. But, it does help to smother some of his anger enough to speak.]

I'd have... fought... I'd have fought... to save you... to make it right... to at least... show the truth...

[Teo's gotten angry over his past and treatment before, but he's perhaps getting too worked up this time. He squeezes his hand, briefly but tight, getting his attention.]

Calm yourself. You're right to be angry about the way things are, but if it's on my behalf, there's no need. I'm not worth that, and I've spent most of my anger already...

[Not all of it. It'll never go away completely, the same way he'll never be able to forgive Alec. But after spending so long away from the world, it became a little easier to breathe again.]

[Teo's conviction that he'd have fought for him is... touching, though he doesn't have complete faith in how true those words would be... and getting justice for himself wouldn't solve any real problems.]

...That's why I don't care what becomes of the world anymore, much less convincing anyone of the truth. But the Sage... has been trying to help bridge the gap between humans and wizards. I don't know what will come of it, but they're in a unique position to do so... especially considering some of the wizards who were chosen this year...

[Though he's not sure if that's for better or worse. Only time will tell...]

You're worth... more than all... of those people...

[It's one last pop of anger and the words are honestly rather impulsive. He's embarrassed now, but he's not going to take it back. Instead he just looks down at his knees and closes his eyes completely with a heavy exhale.]

Does the Sage... know...? You don't care... but... that's... really big... And they'll need everything... they can get... to bridge things...

[There's something there at the end of what Faust says too, something that gives him pause.]

...You think... the other wizards... will play a part...?

[It's not true, but he doesn't bother to discourage him from saying so. He knows it wouldn't dissuade him, anyway. He's quiet a moment.]

Yes. They walked in on one of my dreams, like the one you saw. It was their decision to tell me of my affliction and what they saw rather than hiding it from me...

[Which he still appreciates. Teo's handling was much clumsier, though it at least partially stemmed from a misunderstanding...]

[There's an even longer pause as he debates how much to say.]

...Let's just say fate has a peculiar sense of humor. Three of the newly chosen wizards have ties to what happened in some way... but as far as enacting change goes, the most significant would be the crown prince of Central Kingdom...

[His head ducks with his guilt but Faust doesn't bring up the past beyond mentioning that it happened. The fact that it was the Sage who first saw it means that this affliction is a lot more recent than he'd imagined it to be.

Fate having a sense of humor is no surprise to him. The specifics, however, are another story.]

... His... great grandkid... is a wizard...

["Are you kidding?" comes to mind, but he has a feeling Faust wouldn't appreciate the question. Instead, he lets that sink in and angrily shakes his head.]

This is... the thing... you know... They think you're all... an other... not them, an enemy... But wizards... are their children... neighbours... lovers... I know you hate... the conflation... and I get it... with how things are... but this is... what's wrong... Humans on my world... would do it too... but it was... always wrong... always stupid... I don't know... how... but eventually... someone has... to see it... They have to see.... wizards... and humans... are from the same cloth... People.

[He scowls at his knees.]

What does... the prince think...?

[He's quiet as Teo processes and responds, his gaze somewhere far away yet closed off to the rest of the world, alone with himself as he has been for hundreds of years. None of that was supposed to have anything to do with him, anymore... but of course he had to be chosen and dragged back into a world that so readily and violently rejected him. And now that he's here, despite his efforts, he can't so easily look the other way.]

...Arthur is still young. Close to how old Alec and I were, back then... the resemblance is... [...] He's suffered for being born a wizard, even if he's looked up to as the prince by his people. But he wishes for humans and wizards to be able to work together...

[Like Alec claimed to wish for, all those years ago... but this time, it's coming from a wizard...]

[Faust's tone is careful but the words cut in and bring his head to lift. He stares, realizing for the first time what Faust is being forced to deal with. Everything in him feels twisted up just thinking about it. Even the hope of change for the future is drenched in the betrayal of the past. He doesn't have words.

He squeezes Faust's hand, quiet for a moment. Then, he leans against Faust's side.]

... You deserve... for things to work... You don't deserve... what it's costing...

[He tenses when Teo leans against him, looking over for a moment in surprise. He wasn't expecting that, but... he doesn't really have a reason to tell him not to, especially not when they're in a world such as this one. Still, it's hard not to focus on his unfamiliar weight leaning into him...]

...If not for the Sage's efforts, I likely wouldn't have bothered to stay and help prepare for the next Calamity... no, more than that, I would have turned to stone shortly after the last battle if not for them choosing to trust us wizards.

But even if I'm making an effort to do my part... it's only because I hope the kids can have a better future than I did. There's no future left for someone like me.

[This whole conversation has been full of difficult and painful things. It's fitting then that Faust should bring up yet another near-missed death. He tenses and sucks in a sharp breath. He stays quiet only to listen to the rest.]

... Don't be stupid... That is... a future... You're doing things... amazing things... You're going to save... the world... Two worlds... if we count this one... And then you'll be free... to live as you want... and every step... matters too...

I'm grateful... If the Sage saved... your life... then I owe them... everything...

[It's not news to Teo that he doesn't believe he has a future, nor is it a surprise he still pushes back against that idea. But he doesn't even want to save the world, and he's failed as much as he's tried to help...]

...Free to live as I want?

[His tone implies he thinks that's a joke, though it's quiet and tired as well.]

I am grateful to the Sage, even if I was resentful of being saved at the time... living lost its appeal a long time ago. Even if some things have changed, even if I can find some quiet moments of happiness amidst the gloom like you insisted... there's no life I want to live that can still exist. More likely, if I'm ever released from these duties, I'll return to my home in the woods to continue living detached from the world and passage of time as I was before... but I doubt I will stop being toyed with by fate anytime soon.

[He still doesn't believe he can every truly be happy again, even with the compromise they came to. If nothing else, he doesn't deserve a life like that anymore...]

[He flinches at the mention of resentment. It doesn't surprise him, and yet still, it feels like a slap. But what makes him draw away is the way Faust speaks of his home.]

You make it... sound like... you hate it there...

Your home... your fire... the creatures... and spirits... peace and quiet... I thought that... was what you wanted... [Detached from the world and the passage of time... That sounds like a prison.] Is that... all to punish yourself... after all?

[As soon as he says it, he knows it wouldn't really surprise him. It would fall right in line with Faust's way of thinking. His heart sinks.]

You said that... you didn't regret it... meeting all of them... meeting me... Do you really think... that there's only regret... ahead of you...? Why can't you have... the life you want...? Do you even know... what that is...?

[He was just starting to adjust to the feeling of Teo leaning against him when he draws away, and combined with what he says it leaves him feeling unbalanced. But...]

...It's not that I hate it. That place... the state I was in when I hid there... it was what I needed...

[But he doesn't deny the rest. He healed as much as was possible on his own, and then he simply continued to exist in that peace and quiet... as much a sanctuary as it was a place to preserve and wallow in the pains that would never be healed.]

...I had the chance to change the world. But in the end, I only made it easier for the humans to cast us out. If I hadn't failed back then, maybe the kids of today wouldn't have suffered as much as they have for being wizards... even now, I've acquired more failures. At least when I was alone, I didn't have to worry about new regrets... who's to say I won't fail everyone again?

The life I want? I don't care about that... I just want them to be safe and happy...

[Heathcliff, Shino, Nero... the rest of the children, Lennox, the Sage... maybe even Figaro...]

...You as well.

[His expression twists. He shifts away like he's dodging an attempt to reach for him, even as he still grips that hand. He looks at Faust with hard glare broken only by the pain in his eyes.]

Don't... Don't give him... the satisfaction... Alec Granvelle... tried to murder you... and succeeded... with others...He did that... don't take... the responsibility... from him... by putting it... on your own shoulders...

[He continues in a softer tone.]

You have no proof... you've made it worse... None... You can't know... You had the chance... and Alec... stole it... it's his fault... his... and everyone... who agreed to kill you...

[He shrugs his shoulders.]

Maybe you've... failed other things... We all do... Everyone... But you've done... more good... than bad... You don't think... you've made us all... safe... and happy...? You don't think... that denying the same... for you... will hurt us...? If what you've said... is true... then you do them... disservice... pretending that... they won't care... That we're wrong to...

[He looks away and closes his eyes when Teo speaks his name, as if it causes him physical pain. He doesn't want to talk about this, or him. He doesn't want Teo to get caught up in anger on his behalf when there's nothing he can do.]

...Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not taking any of the blame off of him for what he did... I spent decades seething with it. But that doesn't make me blameless... we led that army together... and I refused to accept the truth until it was too late to avert the worst. When you're a leader, both your actions and your inactions have wider consequences...

[He takes a deep breath and sighs deeply, finally drawing his hand away from Teo's to tug at the brim of his hat.]

...I think we've spoken enough of my world... what happens there has nothing to do with you, after all... and I'm tired.

[Both from all the talking as well as the subjects at hand.]

[He sighs too. He doesn't try to draw Faust's hand back. The wall has gone up and it's only fair. But he still takes one last shot.]

If you were going... to accept his betrayal... you'd have never... believed what you... were fighting for...

[He pushes himself off the couch, up to his feet.]

You'll matter to me... even when you're gone... [And with that, he'll let it drop.] Do you want... anything...? Water...?

...

[After a moment, he stands as well.]

It's all right; I can get it myself. I should let you get back to getting to know the people here...

[...Maybe that sounds like pushing him away in this context, but he really does want him to be able to branch out and make new friends...]

...I'll be upstairs if you need me.

How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,

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