hugtopia | [Backdated to October -- Diary of the Dead Pt.2]

[It was a hard decision. It was an even harder talk with Faust. But after the last slip, he couldn't justify himself anymore. He told himself from the very start that he would only allow himself to live for as long as he could control himself and, clearly, he can't.

He's afraid of what happens next. He's afraid of what might happen to Faust when he won't just let them kill him. He doesn't want to hurt Faust in that or in any other way. But he has to do something. He can't let more people be hurt for his sake.]

IMPORTANT NOTICE

Hello, everyone. This is Teo. I have something important to tell you all.

I need everyone to stay away from me. If you see me, even if there's an apparition, don't help me. Don't get close.

I thought I could handle this, but I was wrong. I'm sorry. I've put all of you at risk.

My world is sick. The people in it are sick. There's no cure and it is fatal. It wipes out everything you are and it just leaves you hungry. You'll attack any living creature you can find. It's only here, recently, that I've learned that people could be immune, but that's only if they survive to find out.

I'm not a survivor. I'm one of the dead. I don't know why I'm awake, just that I am. I've been trying to make myself safe, but with these apparitions I

It's too easy for me to lose myself. It takes too much time for me to wake back up. I'm a danger to you and to this world. I won't ask you to forgive me. I just ask that you please keep yourselves safe. If it comes down to a moment, do what you need to do. Don't hesitate.

I'm so

so sorry

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He feels a rush of relief, though it's short-lived.]

I haven't seen the whole world. I can't know for sure. But I've never met any like me. I've tried talking to them but nothing helps. Even if there were others they might not have let themselves "live".

The second world I went to was the same. The dead were worse there and could speak, but it was just to lure people. I could send them on in that world but I can't do that here.

Did you have to isolate yourself in your homeworld, too?

There's not much left of my world. Not of the people, anyway. More undead than living. More fully dead than both. I have my disguise and I keep distant, but I don't bump into many living people when I travel anyway. I wasn't isolating. But I was alone.

One day I was in that other world. A world like mine but different. We were isolated on an island to keep the main world safe, but not from each other. It was nice. I was happy. But it was always possible that things would change. I used to hunt animals, you see. To stay sane. But winter was coming. I worried. Only then I was here.

[ As much as Machina believes isolating is the smart decision to protect others, being alone... would suck. ] If you're the only one of those who remained "awake", that'd probably gives some hope to any who could possibly be still alive. Silver lining, I guess.

Maybe. I'd hoped so.

But if I'm hurting people, doesn't it make no difference? No one would want their loved one to be like this. No one would allow this.

[He doesn't know why no one's going after him now but he supposes it's still early.]

Easy for you to say. I'd rather have my loved ones undead as long as they're awake, than gone for good. Them being conscious in some form, even if they have to be isolated for safety, means I could potentially find a way to help them on my own.

It's not. It's not easy for me to say.

But you still don't know what you're asking for. They would never be safe. Not as they are, not to be around. The hunger never ends. And I already told you there's no cure. You would lose them as they are. You might lose them to the hunger too if that or what they've done is too much to bear. You might save yourself pain, but what about them?

I want to live. I'd weighed everything already before I failed. But you haven't. Your loved ones haven't either. Please be careful with wishes like that.

[ This whole time he's been trying to think of a way to have someone dear to him live... And she's already suffering daily, but she still wants to live. To even consider that she'd want otherwise is furthest from his mind. ]

You can make your own choices, but I wouldn't give up on my friend. Better that than forgetting her entirely.

Her?

[He was already feeling like he was losing a grip on what they were talking about. Now he's sure of it.]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say you should forget anyone. Just that it's like you said. You wouldn't want anyone to hesitate with you. A lot of people feel the same, possibly this person too. That's not the same as giving up. I just meant that other lives might have value too. I could understand if people here wanted mine to end. But I hope I wouldn't be forgotten. Even if it would be a lot to ask of people.

But, this other person, she's not turned. Right?

[ He wants to argue, it's different he asks for someone to not hesitate for him, than for him to not do the same for her. But he doesn't, because, unfortunately, he has no self-reflection when it comes to Rem and saving her by any means, even if it goes against her wishes. ] 'Her' is a friend, Rem. And no, we don't have anything like you do in your world regarding "turning", but we're talking hypotheticals, right? I'd do anything for her either way.

We forget the dead in our world.

[He almost writes that he's glad. This person shouldn't have to suffer like that. No one should unless they truly wish to live so badly.

But then Machina continues.]
Oh

I'm so sorry. That's really sad.

When I woke up, my memories were gone. But, I found a letter. It was in my pocket. In it, I was apologizing to someone, but that's not really the point. It was the first thing I had to tell me who I might've been. What I mean is, maybe you could write a letter. You could describe her, who she is, what she loves. If your memory of her goes, you'll have that.

[Backdated to October -- Diary of the Dead Pt.2]

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