hugtopia | [Backdated to October -- Diary of the Dead Pt.2]

[It was a hard decision. It was an even harder talk with Faust. But after the last slip, he couldn't justify himself anymore. He told himself from the very start that he would only allow himself to live for as long as he could control himself and, clearly, he can't.

He's afraid of what happens next. He's afraid of what might happen to Faust when he won't just let them kill him. He doesn't want to hurt Faust in that or in any other way. But he has to do something. He can't let more people be hurt for his sake.]

IMPORTANT NOTICE

Hello, everyone. This is Teo. I have something important to tell you all.

I need everyone to stay away from me. If you see me, even if there's an apparition, don't help me. Don't get close.

I thought I could handle this, but I was wrong. I'm sorry. I've put all of you at risk.

My world is sick. The people in it are sick. There's no cure and it is fatal. It wipes out everything you are and it just leaves you hungry. You'll attack any living creature you can find. It's only here, recently, that I've learned that people could be immune, but that's only if they survive to find out.

I'm not a survivor. I'm one of the dead. I don't know why I'm awake, just that I am. I've been trying to make myself safe, but with these apparitions I

It's too easy for me to lose myself. It takes too much time for me to wake back up. I'm a danger to you and to this world. I won't ask you to forgive me. I just ask that you please keep yourselves safe. If it comes down to a moment, do what you need to do. Don't hesitate.

I'm so

so sorry

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You've gone this long without eating anybody, unless it happened while I was under a rock or something.

I bit Faust. And another person.

I've always tried to keep myself under control. But getting caught by those ghosts, I forget who I am. It only lasts a few minutes but in that time, I'm still doing damage.

And your solution is to tell everyone to stay away from you? Just leave you like that?

Dumbass. I don't even know you and I think that's shitty. How do your friends feel?

Um.
Yeah?
I mean. I always thought that messing up meant I should just
You know
not be alive?
Less alive.
But I
I don't want to die.

[So he left it in everyone else's hands instead of doing the responsible thing. So he sees it.]

I didn't think anyone would want to stay my friend after this.
Faust told me not to just turn myself in though.

Just because you hurt someone doesn't give them the right to kill you. Might give them the right to hurt you back, and some might try to kill you anyway. But you don't have to let them. Fuck that. You want to live? Then live. Fight for it. That's your choice to make.

And whether or not people are chill with you is THEIR choice, so you can't make it for them either.

No, but, if it could've killed them, that's different, right? I don't understand why they're not turning. I've never seen this before. But the fact that it could happen should count, right? Isn't selfish, wanting to live at the cost of others when I already did live? [Even if he doesn't remember it...]

I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you upset. I'm just really confused right now. Of course it's everyone's own choice how they feel, but, I really, really

I mean, it's been this way since I woke up that if anyone found out I was infected, they'd kill me. It's what I prepared for. [Not this.]

This place is magical in a lot of weird ways. I wouldn't question if that's just how it works here. Awfully hard for us all to save the world if we eat each other.

Anyway I'm not upset with you, it's just that you're talking a lot of bullshit. For the record, I'm also undead. And if somebody tried to kill me for it, I'd set their face on fire.

... I hadn't thought of that... that the gods would fix me, sort of...

[He's still compelled by hunger, but, if he wasn't then maybe he wouldn't be undead at all, just dead.

And she--]

Oh

Hah

Guess I have been sounding like an asshole. Im sorry.

I guess you're a different kind? But you didn't hurt anyone. It wouldn't be right if they hurt you. I wouldn't want that. Some face fire is probably pretty fair.

You were, but I'm a big girl so I can handle it. Better unintentional than not. A while back, I was strongarmed into doing something similar to this. The important difference is that I'm unapologetic about what I am. (A lich, for the record.)

Lots of people are dangerous for different reasons. You can bite someone and infect them? I can kill someone with a single word. I could set this whole town on fire if I lost control or put my mind to it. This place is full of dangerous people.

Let me tell you a secret that most people take way too goddamn long to learn. Separating yourself from others doesn't protect them, from you or anything else. It's bonds that save people. Bonds can save a whole universe. I've seen it.

I'm sorry. That totally sucks.

I don't know. You could do that. A lot of people can do things like that. But I didn't say all this because of that, it's because I lose control and things happen. You choose not to hurt people, but I don't know if I can always have a choice. I guess that's the difference for me. For you or other people with powers, just because you could hurt people doesn't mean you would and you shouldn't be treated like that, like you automatically will. But since there are circumstances where I will hurt people, even if I don't want to, it feels different. I don't want to hurt anyone.

[Those last words resonate deeply. He doesn't doubt she's right. A lot of people do take too long. He took too long. It's a memory that's less a memory than it is a feeling. It sings in his very bones.]

I don't want to be separated anymore. I woke up from death feeling like that and like everything that slipped was my fault. I don't want that again. I just don't know how else to protect them from me right now.

For you to say that tells me you don't know anything about liches. Our souls are transformed into pure wild magic. Most go insane with power and either rampage or are corrupted by it. If I don't keep that shit on lockdown I could lose it at any time. There have definitely been moments where I hurt somebody because of it, or I witnessed another lich do it. Most undead struggle with control of those darker impulses, my dude. Educate yourself, you're not that special.

It's fine to tell people about the danger. But that should be like, "let's work together so we're both safe" not whatever the hell this was.

[Ah. It's his time old mistake. A dumb human even when he's questionably not one. He hopes Faust isn't reading this but he probably is, which adds another layer of shame.]

... I don't know anything about any kind of magic. Or other people like this. My world was humans without magic and the dead ones that kill them and I just
I went off of what I thought was right from that world. But it wasn't. I'm sorry. If there's a way to learn, like a book or something...

Haven't you ever read a vampire novel?

[He's actually read and enjoyed an embarrassing amount of vampire novels, even if he can't technically recall specifics now that he's undead.]

... okay, but there's a hundred different vampire novels. And wizard novels. I'm not so sure about zombies or lichs but they'd all still be different. I can't figure out undead and/or magic social politics based on made up stuff. I need a How To or something.

You could ask.

... For vampire novels?

For undead shit, dumbass.

Oh. Right. That. Yeah.

I just thought cause you said educate yourself you meant
Nevermind.

So um
Any other undead things I should know?

Really depends on your world, actually. Different worlds have different rules for each undead, it seems. One lich isn't the same as another. One zombie isn't the same.

I don't know, you want a primer on all the undeads of the universe, or just a list of standard rules for not offending one and getting yourself eaten? I don't usually work for free...

[Backdated to October -- Diary of the Dead Pt.2]

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