text;

[necromanswers]

Hey folks. PSA for you. Name's Lup, I own Affurgato. Congrats to those who've already met my fabulous self.

As a heads up: I'm a lich. Other terms include: undead, corpse-walker, monster, abomination. Someone screamed "The Raven's Misfortune" at me once and I thought that was delightfully poetic.

If you have a problem with this, you can eat my entire ass. If you want to BRING your problem to me, I'll be happy to set YOUR ass on fire.

Now, are there any deeply personal details I ought to know about you in order for us to be friends? Apparently I have trust issues and aren't accustomed to mortal cultural norms.

that's all, have a great day or whatever

Comments

[notkakashi]

Of course! Where's the fun in life if there's no getting around them?

So how bad is the jail experience? Have you experienced it yourself?

[necromanswers]

Yeah, I've been. It sucks balls. They cut off special abilities somehow, so don't expect a magical exit.

I guess it's decent enough otherwise, as far as jails go. I've definitely seen worse.

[notkakashi]

Oh, gross. I'm already stuck here with my powers limited so that's a No Thanks for me.

I suppose even when they lock you up they'd let you go eventually. How long do they keep you locked up anyways?

[necromanswers]

ehhh not long. few days at most, unless you do something really awful. I don't even know what wretched thing that would be either

miraculously no one has been murdered here yet

[notkakashi]

If someone does anything horrible that would prompt a longer stay in a cell, shouldn't we get a public announcement for some shaming? That'd be nice.

Yet. Don't go putting up flags for someone to retrieve! Not that I'll be the one to collect that flag, mind you, but I'm sure we wouldn't want to see blood spilled on the streets somewhere after this.

[necromanswers]

I like that idea, especially considering this place thrives on those cuddle-bucks. Good luck getting paid now, whoever you are! No hugs for the instigator of whatever-that-crime-was.

I'm gonna say I'm definitely NOT encouraging murder on a public forum, in case that too is a crime.

[notkakashi]

Right? If they don't have a proper legal system in place, at least they can do that, right?

I'm just saying! Unintentional or not, sometimes spoken words have mysterious powers!
Well I guess it'd be written words for this case.

[necromanswers]

I'm sure they must have something, but I'm sure as hell not going to attend a civics lesson to find out. Either way, they're probably more lenient on folks like us because they need us huggin it up and you can't do that much in jail.