text;

[necromanswers]

Hey folks. PSA for you. Name's Lup, I own Affurgato. Congrats to those who've already met my fabulous self.

As a heads up: I'm a lich. Other terms include: undead, corpse-walker, monster, abomination. Someone screamed "The Raven's Misfortune" at me once and I thought that was delightfully poetic.

If you have a problem with this, you can eat my entire ass. If you want to BRING your problem to me, I'll be happy to set YOUR ass on fire.

Now, are there any deeply personal details I ought to know about you in order for us to be friends? Apparently I have trust issues and aren't accustomed to mortal cultural norms.

that's all, have a great day or whatever

Comments

[flawed_immortality]

I'm not trying to imply that you must abide by some schedule of mine. I'm also not trying to take away your ability to make choices for yourself.

I already said I was mistaken. I made assumptions I didn't even realize I had made until I saw you in that form. It may not be an immediate all or nothing for you but crossing that line IS for me. I have no secrets from Regis and he none from me. I can confidently say the same for Will. And what intimacy we share only began AFTER he was ready to share those last secrets with me.

It seems foolish, now, to think that I could possibly know you so well after only a year. Not when you have so many more than I can even fathom. But I thought I did. I was wrong. The fault for that lies squarely on my shoulders.

[necromanswers]

I'm not trying to say this is all your fault. You're allowed to have your own feelings on the matter, too, and to an extent I can respect the issue you have. I just want you to know my perspective on things.

I'm hundreds of years old, and I grew up knowing that keeping my secrets would keep me alive. I can't be like you, and sharing hidden parts of myself doesn't come naturally. I don't need to know everything that another is hiding for me to be intimate with them. Hell, I've had nights where I barely knew their name. For me, sex is fun, it doesn't have to be making love. When you told me that your king already held your heart, I thought I understood your expectations of this. You had him, and you had Will, and I was fine with being a slice of mutually beneficial fun on the side.

I meant what I said before, I didn't lie to you. How I feel and what I want, how you feel and what you want- that's the sort of communication needed for this to work between multiple people. I can see now that we should have had a longer conversation about it, and that's my bad. You're still learning.

Is what you want a relationship with no secrets?

[flawed_immortality]

I suppose that is the fundamental difference. Keeping secrets kept you alive. Keeping secrets would endanger those dearest to me.

You know some of what has befallen Eos in my time. One of the things that set that in motion was secrets kept by a man I considered like a brother. Perhaps the only friend I've ever made for myself. It was a betrayal that cost us both King and Kingdom.

Secrets have their place in war and in battle. They are not something I can not abide in my personal relationships. However much I insist to the contrary it seems. However much reason says that such expectations are absurd.

I'm sorry but yes. That is what I need.

[necromanswers]

For what it's worth, I'm sorry you were betrayed like that. No one deserves it. I can relate a little, though not quite on that scale, so I can't blame you if it's something you're not able to overcome.

[It's a sad answer, but at the same time she can feel a heavy weight lifted off her shoulders, too. It hurts less, to finally know for sure, and it isn't much of a surprise to her. Like she knew months ago and only needed the confirmation from him to make it official.]

All right. Thanks for the honest answer. It was fun while it lasted, so thanks for that, too.

Is this a downgrade to friendship, or are you going back to pretending I don't exist? Just so I know where I stand. I can ignore you at public events if that's your preference, but I won't avoid going, either.

[flawed_immortality]

You know I don't care for big gatherings. I hardly wanted to go anyway.

[The pause between that message and the next is so clearly a moment to sigh in exasperation at himself it's nearly audible in the silence.]

Which I should have been clearer about to his Majesty. I truly do not want to make things uncomfortable for you. And perhaps, in time, merely a "downgrade" will work. I think it will be some time before I'm ready for that.

[necromanswers]

[....

Yep, there's that tiredness again. She needs to get out of this before something snaps.]

A "no" is what I'll take from that. I'd rather burn it early than keep my hopes up for a maybe.

Do us all a favour and have this conversation with Honerva. Hurt her now while she's ready for it and get it over with.

Bye, Cor.