[video]

[commediadellanime]

Goooood evening, everyone!

[It’s like, 3pm, that’s not that late at all. But Childe doesn’t care about that! What he cares about is getting information.

The camera has been propped up a stand, so you can see Childe from the waist up - a red-haired man (boy?) who can’t be more than 20, with a red mask tucked into his hair and blue eyes that are crinkled into a smile.]

I’ve got a couple questions, but I’ll try not to take up too much of your time.

[Hopefully less time than it took him to really figure out this piece of tech. Could you imagine what it would be like if they had this sort of thing in Teyvat?]

First off, probably one that’s been asked a lot - just how serious is everyone about this whole… Cuddling up to people to rejuvenate the world or whatever? Like, that’s not literal, right?

[Please tell him it’s not literal. He’s not the cuddly type. Still, time to move on to the more important question. He perks up, grin getting even brighter.]

Second question! I’m sure I’m not the only fighter here, and hopefully I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to get rusty… So, is there anyone who’d want to spar with me?

[He claps his hands together.]

And that’s it! Oh, right - you can call me Childe. And anyone interested, just let me know whenever you want. Or attack me out of the blue! That's fine, too.

Comments

[daikonrose]

[ There's some more frowning, but she doesn't necessarily dislike that way of thinking. ]

Well, maybe so... but in that case, I'd say the shining beacon is warm companionship itself. It's worth defending! That just means it's even more important to keep intentions clear and plain!

[commediadellanime]

[This is as good as it's going to get, Kyoko.]

Well, right now my intentions are to just make money and figure out what to do from there. The worlds runs on mora - er, dora - and I'm not about to get left to starve.

[He tilts his head, the mask somehow staying firmly in place.]

Maybe later the warm companionship can come in.

[daikonrose]

[ Her head tips back a bit as he speaks, eye brows rising high over widening eyes. If he were even a little more secretive about it, she'd have to find that kinda despicable, but... he's just putting it right out there, huh? To someone he's never met before, after a conversation of like five minutes? ]

Shameless....

[ So yes, judgement is happening at last, but she's more in awe than anything. ]

You... already know about the free housing and food, right? Even without a cent to your name, you won't have to starve--I just mentioned that a minute ago, didn't I?

[commediadellanime]

I don't intend to be indebted to the... gods of this place.

[For the first time since this conversation started, his demeanor changes. His voice goes cold - bitter, almost - before he shakes his head and goes back to his chipper self.]

So if this is how I can support myself and get them from seeing me as a charity case, why not? Might as well kill two hares.

[daikonrose]

If you're thinking of it in terms of debt and charity....

[ Maybe that's the smarter way to approach it, but... it just doesn't sit right with her. ]

They're the ones who owe us, you know?

[commediadellanime]

You can believe that, but does that mean they believe that? They could feel entirely justified in what they're making us do and feel like we owe it to them because of everything being given to us in return.

[It's simple. You act like someone is doing you a favor, give them more than they need in return, and then they end up the one in debt. It's something he's seen and done countless times - Northland Bank didn't get as profitable as it was without a few unfair loans.]

[daikonrose]

It's... not like I can say you're wrong, but....

[ She was frowning to herself, but then there was a firm little nod. ]

If it comes down to that, there's no reason to think they won't keep asking for more, no matter what. They never gave us quotas, so there's no way to know when we've satisfied them. In a situation like that... I'd rather call their bluff, myself.

[commediadellanime]

[He presses his lips together, thinking over her words for a moment.]

...So what you're saying is you're not making any dora.

[Is that what he should've gotten from that? No. But that's what he's getting from that.]

1/2

[daikonrose]

[ It's true, that's a bit of a subject change, but it had been starting to look like they were bound to disagree on the topic anyway. Not too surprising, all in all. Kyoko shrugs, tipping her head to the side. ]

"Not any" isn't quite right. It's not like I've never touched anyone at all since I got here, and that's not even the only way to make money, you know? But--

[daikonrose]

[ She flashes a too-bright grin and a wink, free hand flying up into view with a peace sign. ]

It's true, I'm pretty broke!!

[commediadellanime]

[Any sort of response he could say is waylaid by the cheerful admission of being broke. He stares for a moment, before bursting out into laughter.

It's not that funny, but it is hilarious.]

Pretty broke?! Ah, Archons, and here I thought I was being judged for not wanting to touch people...!

[Hehehehe.]

[daikonrose]

[ Well when it's true, it's true! Kyoko's obviously just gonna be poor forever here, and that's okay! She's not mad. ]

Judged? Judged by who?? Did someone say something?

[commediadellanime]

Just about everyone so far! Everyone seems to have accepted that you just need to touch people.

[Heh. Hehehe. Broke forever! At least he won't be like her, because Childe is nothing if not incredibly stubborn.]

[daikonrose]

Well, it's not like the evidence doesn't all point to that....

[ There's an amiable little shrug. ]

But that doesn't mean we all have to be gung-ho about it. If you ask me, it's kind of a worry that giving in and accepting the kidnapping situation is so popular around here, but everyone has their reasons.

[commediadellanime]

I haven't met a single damn person who wanted to change what these gods are doing - not that I've met everyone here, yet.

[He already feels like the only person who doesn't respect the gods, though, which.... Is a shame.]

[daikonrose]

Well, I've tried yelling at them in their temples, and I've tried being a slacker at the touching thing, and neither of those methods is showing any results so far.... I guess I could ramp up on making curse dolls, but-- How would you do it? Make them change, I mean.

[ She is open to suggestions here. ]

[commediadellanime]

Kill them.

[A beat.]

But they’re probably not physically present, so that’d be pretty hard. Still, it’d be effective.

[daikonrose]

Whoa, straightforward, going right for the final boss.

[ It has merit to be honest! ]

But you're right, that's kind of a problem. And even if you managed it, there's no reason to think anyone would be able to go home after it was over. We'd just be stuck on a dead planet with lots of angry robots, right?

[commediadellanime]

Gods die the same as anyone else.

[Or at least they do in Teyvat!]

...The way it works back home, if an Archon loses their power or dies then another god will eventually gain the ability to take their place. Who's to say there won't be an ascension from someone more willing to send us home if we kill the gods currently reigning?

[daikonrose]

I see!! So there's a system like that in place!

[ She's leaning in a little closer to the screen, a sparkle in her eye. Hearing all this cool stuff about other worlds is the one genuinely fun thing about being stuck here. ]

An "archon"--you said that word before, too--is some kind of extra, super, mega-powerful god, then? Or a ruler god?

[commediadellanime]

Something like that.

[Extra, super, mega-powerful... Well. He could use that to describe some Archons.]

You know, there's someone here who knows a lot about Archons. Mr. Zhongli - yellow eyes, dark hair in a ponytail, wears a lot of cor lapis jewelry. I'm sure he'd love to answer any questions about them in more detail than I could provide!

[Heh. Hehehe.]

[daikonrose]

Oh, an expert!! I'd definitely want to hear his wisdom, if I encounter such a person!

[ How kind of Childe to volunteer him! ]

It's kinda hard to say if there's a system like that here... but maybe someone like that would have the insight that brings everything together!

[commediadellanime]

Oh, I'm sure you will! He's really hard to miss.

[He's not sorry at all. Zhongli deserves to be outed after fooling Childe for so long.]

If you meet Mr. Zhongli, make sure you ask him about Morax. He's the oldest of all the Archons, and there's loads of stories about him.

[A pause.]

But I'm not sure how comparable it is to how the gods here work.

[daikonrose]

[ She nods seriously, and there's a faint mutter of "Morax, Morax..." as if to commit the name to memory. ]

Even if it ends up not being comparable, we won't know until we find out!! [ And besides, it's! Very interesting! ]

Ah, but that does mean killing the gods here would still be a pretty big gamble, if you could actually do it. Your strategy for playing it safe is probably the smartest one, for now.

[ Not that she's planning to adopt it herself. ]

[commediadellanime]

We can start with one and see how it goes from there.

[Is he being serious... It’s hard to tell...]

No point upsetting the power balance entirely without knowing what’ll happen to us first.