hugtopia | cute as all hell in a literal sense [text.]

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cute as all hell in a literal sense [text.]

hey does anyone know how to phrase "what am I supposed to do in the body of someone of the opposite sex" in a way that isn't creepy

that isn't my real question though that's just a joke to get us rolling

so I don't have my phones and all the pictures I took back home right? but now I've been a couple people the last few days because that's just a fucking thing now I guess and I could take their pictures
(again I can't stress this enough not in a creepy way)
still not everyone but I've been thinking about this since I got here
it'd be useful to have something that you could use to let everyone know to keep an eye out for friends and family in case they show up right? or if there's someone you need to know about because you don't want to see them
without telling a dozen people individually I mean, that's a huge pain
I just can't figure out a way that some dickhead couldn't use it the same way
like a crazy stalker ex tracking down their victim

also I'm not organizing shit I just want it crowdfunded or whatever
discuss

[ private to héctor. ]
hey
you home? can we talk?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He sighs wistfully.]

I miss being a skeleton. So much easier. Less work, less trouble. I'd have all my tricks again. I'd actually feel like me. And you're right, I'd be able to pass off a lot more.

[He shakes his head. He won't curse Lucifer for returning him back to this, but only because the poor bastard had been through a truly harrowing few months and still managed to extend the energy to revive the lot of them.]

But I have noticed something with this place. Whenever I had this body, I used to have a lot of nerve damage and stuff. You know, from the arsenic. But I haven't had any of that act up yet. Not even a little. So, it hasn't been as bad as it could be.

[He might not get it, but he's not surprised, either. Arm archery was cool! And if he remembers right, it made the broken parts hurt more when they were locked into their proper place. Hmm... Cliff blinks out of that thought when -- ]

Oh, right. I...forgot about that. [It's weird to know a guy was murdered -- especially with something like arsenic -- but not to always think about him as someone that's actually died. Héctor was just alive, and then he was undead. That's how Cliff has always known him. But yeah, he sure was purposefully poisoned long before the big scary Hell murder stuff.] I didn't know arsenic messed with nerves.

[Shockingly, this teenage boy doesn't know a lot about poison... Or nerve pain. It was supposed to be like extreme pins and needles, right?]

Maybe because this place relies on touch? Whatever the reason is, that's cool. Except isn't your leg still messed up? You have your limp.

[There's a bit of a wry look. He can understand, but it's hard for him to forget being dead.]

Nerves, all the insides. It came and went of course, but I used to have to ask Nekane for a lot of help with things cause I couldn't walk right or move my hands. Just stayed in bed some days. But, if it weren't for that stuff, I wouldn't have realized what had happend-- I actually didn't realize in the land of the dead. And like you say, moving fingers means I can shake a hand.

[But moving along. He shrugs.]

It could just be that they could only fix the poison's damage. They'd kind of have to if they want me alive here. It's not an afterlife like Hell was where I could get away with it. Besides, the leg doesn't get in the way of anything really.

[Just walking without pain.]

[That sounds miserable, and Cliff's face -- through Coco's -- says as much.]

...I'd hate that. Being stuck.

[In a different way than they were both stuck now. If he couldn't have gotten up in the morning and left his house to go literally anywhere else, he's not sure what he would've done.]

You had a cane, back home. It might help. [He manages a crooked, if weak, grin.] Besides, you could keep everyone away better if they're trying to touch you.

[He smiles faintly.]

It wasn't my favorite.

[Especially with so many dangers. Nekane could handle a lot, but that didn't mean everything, or that they should handle it all. He thinks it gives him a new respect for some dead he knew who weren't so lucky in life.]

Ah, I don't need-- [He went waving his hand, but it stops with his words, looking up thoughtfully.] On second thought, that's not a bad idea. Could put at least three feet between... [He grins.] Clever.

No shit.

[Of course he's clever!! He's wonderful, the best and smartest, and deserves many a praise.

...Never mind that he's still thinking about how bizarre it is to hear Coco curse. She's too good? What the heck is she doing slumming with him tbh.]

Anyway, if you'd refused, I'd have to break out this girl's puppydog eyes, and that's just cruel. You know she wouldn't approve of you making things harder on yourself for no good reason.

[It's terribly bizzare. It's definitely giving him pause.

Not to mention that, oh no! His joking has been taking for sincerely looking out for himself! Who could have predicted? What now?]

Puppy dog eyes...? You can't pull that off. Just because you look like her doesn't mean you look like her. [Right...?] But, I mean, it really isn't that much harder on myself. The leg's been like that for years.

Hey! Come on, I used to be a cute little brat. I can probably remember how.

[Nah. The only cute he can do is accidental. This is what happens when you can't weasel your way out of situations, fair or not.]

Yeah, but it hurts more when you're not a skeleton, right?

[He gives a doubting hum. Cute kid or not, can he really compare to Coco levels?]

Well. Yeah, but- Wait, did the other me tell you that? That traitor. [As if the other him even knows about all this. He waves a hand.]

It just seems such a waste and a bother when I'm probably going to fade away any d- Oh. Oh... I guess I'm not. [He sighs.] Alright. Alright. I'll look for one. But I don't know if they even have things like that. Everyone's a robot here.

[Okay, so maybe he couldn't be as cute as Coco -- not like she was 100% sweetness when getting things the way she wanted, though. That girl's trouble, and it's part of why he loves her so dang much.]

Eh, people say you're your own worst enemy.

[His eyebrow raises until reality dawns on Héctor, making him shake his head and smirk. Clifford wins again! Mostly by his own merit.]

You think they can make future phones and machines that recreate food, but they can't figure out how to make a cane? It's basically a stick.

[So, so trouble.

He says nothing to that comment, mostly because he's busy frowning due to being reminded of the fact that Nekane actually manifested their anger into a separate self that proceeded to beat the living shit out of them for months and they're still bearing the consequences of that now. Own worst enemy indeed.]

I don't know. Maybe they'd look at me funny and say what's a cane? Or offer to replace my whole leg or something. I'll probably need to work up to buy something like that too...

[Everything is trauma.]

I guess a robot leg is cooler in theory than when you're actually getting stuck with one... [Rocket jumps!!! But also losing your leg. Even when it's busted, it's yours.] Not worth worrying about it until you know, though.

[The other part... Cliff goes back to staring at his lap. This is probably the time he's supposed to offer to help with that, especially since he's trying to get stuff, too, and he was the one that suggested he get it...]

[Everything!]

Fair enough.

[Which means he should stop stalling on it. Probably.

He doesn't realize what he's implied until he notices Cliff looking down, uncomfortable. It's even worse that the boy looks like his daughter. He speaks softly.]

Hey. You don't need to worry. I'm not going to ask anything of you.

[Ah. He's been caught.]

Right...

[It still feels bad.]

It's not you. It's just...I hate it. I mean, I'm dating Coco and it's still hard to do more than hold her hand.

[Even though he knows she wouldn't hurt him. Even though she knows what he is and accepts it.]

[He wishes that he could assure this boy, tell him something about his Coco. But he doesn't the faintest idea what she would or wouldn't do. What she likes, what she can handle, he doesn't know anything.

He knows himself and he doesn't have much to offer there.]

Trapped in yourself. You can't reach out because the good things feel like they'll turn into pain. And for some reason, the pain is all you can allow. As if being allowed to hate every second of it makes it easier. And the kind ones will find out everything from a touch.

[Even if Cliff proved him wrong there. He draws the blanket tighter around himself and closes his eyes.]

I wish I had better advice. I'm sorry I don't. The best I've got is... ask a lot. Ask her to ask first. Ask for yourself if it helps. Practice and... take it slow. Find workarounds. And remember that, even if someone becomes an exception to fear, that doesn't mean everyone has to be. You don't owe anybody anything. You don't even owe that person if the day's a bad one.

[Time to just...shift uncomfortably in this chair... He didn't like it when Raven called him out, he doesn't like it now with Héctor doing it. It's not completely correct, but more fits than he'd care to admit, so let's just! be quiet for a minute here!! before sighing.]

No, she's good about it. She knows me better than a lot of people, so she doesn't push me. We...talked about it a little. [Having this conversation as Coco with Coco's dad is miserable.] Things here would be a lot easier if she was around, but even thinking about that makes me feel bad. She'd miss home.

[THE POINT BEING]

I want to help. You know what I mean, though. [Obviously.]

I'm glad to hear that.

[He's glad his daughter is kind. He's glad Cliff is getting the kindness he deserves. He's glad it works, in its way.

He nods and draws a shuddering breath.]

I know what you mean. I was waiting in the land of the dead for everyone else to die. Not the greatest feeling. I'm not sure what I'd do if she showed up here.

[He's already sobbed himself dry just for the image of her. He shakes his head.]

In any case, you're not the only one with that problem. The touch thing. This is hard for me too. So, don't feel pressured by me. If I'm bemoaning it, it's because of myself.

[He sighs heavily, moving his head back to stare at the ceiling and changing how he sits so he can tip the chair back onto its back two legs. He knows Héctor is right and is more grateful than not for the assurance, but it doesn't make him feel any better about it all. He can't help, and he can't question just what it all was that changed Héctor to be like him, shying away from contact. It explicitly wasn't his business by nature and by request, and there wasn't anything he could do about it anyway.]

Yeah...

[He turns a sad smile down at his glass of water. He laughs quietly at himself.]

Why don't I spare you some torment and let you go? Save you from dealing with some old man's feelings and troubles. But, I need to ask for just one more thing.

[He looks apologetic at least.]

I know this is awkward but... could I take a picture?

[aaaaaaa well -- ]

I was the one that bugged you to hang out...

[Yes, it was for Héctor's sake, and SUPER YES, it was awkward as fuck, but still... This was his choice, and it feels wrong to let Héctor forget about that.

The request makes him tint a little pink, and he worries with the end of one of Coco's braids again. It wasn't a huge surprise -- he expected it, kind of, and almost offered it himself before chickening out.]

Uh, sure... [It'd be pretty hypocritical of him to deny him one, since he snapped one for himself earlier.] I'm not good at smiling for, like, school pictures and that kind of thing... I might make her look kinda weird.

[He waves a hand. Cliff asked to talk seriously and came here to offer him an otherwise impossible chance. It was hardly ideal conditions for "hanging out". It certainly wasn't any sort of bugging.

He kind of expects the blush. He tries not to think of how it makes Coco look because he has to think too much of how it makes Cliff look. He does shake his head.]

Don't worry about that. In fact, maybe don't look at me. Try looking somewhere else and thinking about something else. It can be, ah, what's the word... candid? Something like that. Maybe you can think about her.

[ALL THAT DOES IS MAKE HIM BLUSH EVEN HARDER hhhh

If he wasn't with someone that suffered through Hell, he'd be certain this was some weird form of torture... He wishes Sylvia were here with her earnest excitement, and Oscar with his easy-to-laugh-at self. Héctor was similar, and all, but not even close to being so familiar... Cliff casts his gaze about the kitchen, making a bit of a face -- though not a grimace -- as he thinks.]

Is it cool if I look around a little? Not all over the place, I just think if I'm not staying still, it might be easier to relax...

[Okay, okay, that was a bad choice. He tries his best not to laugh.]

Ha, yes, sorry. Feel free.

[He'll just give you a minute there Cliff. He's got to set up the phone to take a shot in any case.]

[Phew, good. Clifford immediately gets to his feet, chair scraping a little too loudly for comfort, and sets about wandering through the kitchen, touching this and that, shuffling something here to there to here again. Little fidgety things while he takes his mind off the request at hand. He doesn't expect to find anything, with Héctor and Nekane not having been there for much longer than him, but he plays at doing an investigation anyway to distract him even more. He ends up thinking about Coco anyway, wondering still what she would think about all this and wishing he could see her. Being grateful that she was so good to him about his various issues. Damn, what a kickass girlfriend he has.

Little by little he relaxes again, and since all things considered, the day's been pretty successful, he doesn't even look hopelessly bored or annoyed. He's in an alright mood! It shows on his face eventually, even if it can't match up to the brilliance of Coco's.]

[He tries to fade into the background. For once, it isn't because he wants to disappear. He simply wants to watch, an unseen observer, like the ghost he really is, with no impact on whatever unfolds. Cliff just fidgets and explores. Indeed, there isn't much to find. They brought nothing extra with them from Hell. It's all the same equipment and the same utensils.

He doesn't have anything to hide, even if Cliff moves on from the kitchen, wandering to the bedroom where a bed is neatly made, unslept in, and has a framed photo set by it, or to the other room, where everything has been deconstructed, chairs taken from the kitchen, the bed there moved about so it's not a bed but a bracing tower turn on it's side and holding a roof of blankets connecting to borrowed kitchen chairs, a mattress on the ground covered in pillows and random bits and bobs. Notably, there's a guitar and songbook in the back there.

He's not concerned with either. He watches Cliff wearing Coco's face, the way it relaxes into something calm. He wishes, suddenly, that he could've just been a wandering ghost. Even if he never interacted again, even if he only watched, wouldn't that have been more than he could've dreamed? He didn't have to be involved... But he's fooling himself and he knows it. Eventually, he's got to snap that picture.]

... Muchas gracias.

cute as all hell in a literal sense [text.]

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