hugtopia | [Text] - Terminally Online

[This isn't the first time Jonesy has found herself waking up in a strange place she didn't remember going to sleep in. It isn't the first time a robot has woken her up, either.

The stone slab is new, though. As is the explanation that she's on an entirely different world than the one she knows.

She doesn't believe it at first, until she steps outside into an entire city of robots
- and their claim is further backed up by the fact that none of her implants can connect to a satellite to get her GPS location. Or the fact that the wireless matrix of this place is set up way differently than the matrix she's accustomed to.

There is a wireless network, though. And the robots even gave her a tablet to use. So, of course, Jonesy does what any hacker would do in her position: She searches the internet for answers.

And when she fails to find a quick and easy explanation of how to get home, she goes on the internet to complain.]

ok so ive been running the numbers in my head and its starting to seem very likely that this is all real, and that i'm not just experiencing biofeedback induced brain damage OR trapped in a hyper realistic VR sim from which i cannot escape.

in which case i must ask:

what the FUCK

you kidnap the best hacker in LA , take me to an alternate fucking planet in a city filled with sapient robots and dragons and gods and no one wants me to DO anything??

no hacking, no repairs, no IT work? i didnt get grabbed because someone was planning a cool space heist that they need my skills for? i'm just supposed to hug people?

i am feeling EXTREMELY undervalued here.

if i got picked because of the arms then i'm not hugging anyone. you robots can go fuck yourselves if thats what this is about.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes... it's weird and I don't like it, but they do give us money for touching each other. Considering the free housing and food, it actually kinda seems like overkill to me, but I guess they wanted to bribe us with something besides promises of freedom. Anyway, you definitely don't have to get a job if you don't feel like it.

fuck that, they kidnapped me. the least they should be doing is paying me to basically do nothing.

at first i thought the hug thing was because i have a wingspan of like 11 feet, so it felt like they were implying i was like made for hugging. but if the gods are just weird pervs and they're getting everyone to do it, i'm not above holding someone's hand and collecting a paycheck

[ 11 feet. Kyoko silently mouths the words to herself, pauses, and then lifts one of her arms straight out so she can look at the distance from her shoulder to her fingertips. How much longer would that arm have to be for her to have an 11 foot wingspan? She can visualize it, but uh. Uh! Huh! ]

That probably would have been my first assumption too, if it was me. But they're definitely just weirdos. Don't worry.

[Its SO inconvenient, Kyoko. She's never not bumping her elbows into things, she hates how long her arms are.]

right well. in that case i guess i can manage a hug or two to keep a roof over my head.

btw, you said there was a cafe around here?

Oh, yes! Affurgato. The food there is really delicious, much better than what you can get out of the replicators.

oh shit, do they serve real coffee there?

like real, non synthetic coffee? ive always wanted to try that.

Really? I'd never even thought about synthetic coffee before I ended up here. But Affurgato's definitely tastes like the real stuff!

yeah where im from the real stuff is like super expensive. most food is made from artificially flavored and textured soy. the real stuff is expensive and i can't afford to be spending 40 bucks on a single drink.

speaking of not being able to afford things... i don't suppose I can convince you to come down to affurgato with me and buy me a cup? i'm just a poor newbie, i don't have any money yet.

[That's not true, of course. Jonesy already has her first month's stipend in her account, she's just angling for a free drink and some social interaction.]

Whoa, so it's almost like the situation's just a few steps away from what it's like here! You might be the first person to come here from a place like that. Oh, are they stiffing newcomers these days? [ Good news! Kyoko's a sucker. ] I don't mind! Do you mean right now?

in more ways than one. ill tell you about it over coffee.

if you're free, nowish works for me. i just got here so i literally don't have anything else to do right now

I'm free until the evening, so now is good! It's at [ an address wow cool ] Will you be able to find it?

oh yeah, for sure. i have a computer in my brain that makes me great with addresses.

[Just gonna drop that with absolutely no context to back it up.]

be there soon.

[Jonesy had mostly just been wandering around, getting a feel for the city up until this point so she just changes course and heads in the direction that her orientation system tells her the cafe should be.

When Kyoko gets there, she'll see an enormous gibbon loitering outside Affurgato. She's 6'9, thin as a rail, and her arms are really disproportionately long. She wasn't kidding about having a wingspan of 11 feet.]

[ A computer brain and an 11 foot wingspan... Kyoko doesn't attempt to respond to that. Truly, what could she even say?

Extremely curious about the sort of person she should be looking for, Kyoko doesn't take too long to head out. Affurgato is just a bit of a trek from her place, though, so Jonesy might still have a short wait before the girl--a modest 5'4 to her towering 6'9--trots up, and comes to a stop a few feet away. ]

Ah. [ She almost points, but resists. Just give her a sec to take this in. ] ... Jonesy, right?

Yup! Kyoko, I assume?

[She smiles down at the girl and extends a hand for her to shake.]

Thanks for coming. I don't really know anyone in the city yet, so I appreciate it.

[ A bit stunned though she might still be, manners will always carry Kyoko through. ]

Y-yes! Nice to meet you!

[ She shook that offered hand, and then twisted to reach into her purse to produce a palm-sized cloth bag tied off with ribbon. ]

Ah, it's not much, but--I wanted to bring a welcome gift.

[Jonesys eyes widen when kyoko produces the little bag. She hadn't expected any sort of gift.]

Oh! You didn't have to do that, you're so sweet.

[She accepts it, though, and makes a mental note to get something for kyoko in return. ]

[ Whenever Jonesy opens it, she'll find... uh, ground coffee beans, surprise. Right as she was leaving, Kyoko had remembered she and her roommates actually had this particular upgrade to their replicator. ]

It really is nothing much! I still haven't treated you yet.

[ She swoops in to open the door for her new friend, as much to give herself a chance to gather her wits a bit better as for courtesy's sake. ]

Um--have you eaten? Besides the coffee, there's a lot of delicious food on the menu here too.

[Having never had real coffee before, it takes Jonesy a moment to realize what she was looking at.]

Oh, wow! That's so generous, yoy really shouldn't have! It smells fantastic.

[Where she comes from, this is a seriously expensive gift. She already feels a little bad for tricking Kyoko into paying for coffee, and now this?]

Uh, no I haven't. Are you sure that isn't too much? I don't want to be a total mooch.

[ Oh dear, better squash that idea that she's done anything special right away. Kyoko quickly shakes her head, leading the way to the nearest table that can accommodate a person of Jonesy's stature. ]

My roommate got that as an add-on to our replicator a long time ago, so actually this was a 100% free, zero effort gift... I really just felt bad for forgetting to mention it from the start.

[ Please do not be impressed. ]

So, definitely don't worry about it.

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