video & voice; Story-time for All

[abracafcku]

[The video opens on a bare wall and to the sound of very, very corny fanfare. Then Taako's voice cuts in with the sound of applause.]

Yes, yes, welcome one and all to the greatest day of your lives. Today we have a real treat for you folks, so pull up a chair, take a load off and enjoy this banned text we've managed to procure.

[He clears his throat and a puppet appears on the screen - a non-descript looking human priest wearing dark robes and a blue sash around his neck. The voices that read the following lines are similar, but not the same and anyone who knows both Lup and Taako can probably tell it's the twins taking turns to read the passages. People who don't, however, might have a hard time telling them apart.]

"I used to have a lady love,
she journeyed through the sea,"

[A new puppet appears - a beautiful female mermaid with hair that falls just past her breasts. She slides up from the bottom of the screen and the priest turns to her, fawning all over her.]

"Her fins were as the mourning dove,
a mated pair were we.
Our bodies tangled, hand in glove,
a queen and devotee,"

[As the poem progresses, the priest does some...very not PG-13 things to the mermaid puppet. Eventually, the mermaid pushes the priest away, looking tired.]

"But she was called to rise above,
our bond not meant to be."

[Here the mermaid "puppet" flips a double middle finger at the priest and backflips into the sea, leaving him drenched in water.]

"Though I endure, bereft, belove,
I have her guarantee,
I'll be the one she's thinking of,
a little dove told me."

[The priest pines and waits by the water, pantomiming the lament of a forlorn lover as a bird lands next to him, rolling its eyes. The puppet show ends with a curtain drawing across the screen and then the video shuts off. Taako's voice cuts back in once the video is gone.]

Yeah, so the people here? Raunchy as hell. I love it. But then some people were, y'know, boring and said things like--

[Lup's voice takes over smoothly like they're still the same person talking.]

"If any other colonies can hear this message, please respond. This is Havenwell. We're still alive. The city is safe. We will come get you, no matter how far you are. This is not an automated message. Please respond." That there's a radio transmission from "Colony #56'07'4TM", which, obviously, is home sweet home. Not the most interesting, but I won't deny that the archive visits have been… informative.

Anyone else get something fun?

[OOC: It's a joint post! Replies here can be from Taako, Lup, or both of them. If you have a preference, just let us know in the title of your comment or it'll be a roulette of which twin you'll get.

Feel free to use this post to stir up discussion amongst yourselves regarding the lore contributions!]

Comments

[pinkmin]

You have a volume control.

[abracafcku]

So do you.

It's called speaking the fuck up.

[pinkmin]

[Alright, Mr. Sass, she's just going to keep her mouth shut instead. Ha! Ha...?]

[abracafcku]

[....Okay so now there's no answer.

Great.]

Ah, golden silence. Excellent. I guess I'll go back to stealing hypothetical books then since no one is around to care.

[pinkmin]

[Hmmph. Oh look, a message pop-up on your screen: You wouldn't care to listen even if I spoke up. ]

[abracafcku]

I mean.

[He snorts.]

Yeah, you're probably right, but I won't know unless you actually speak up. Maybe you'll surprise me and say something interesting.

[pinkmin]

[There's some more unimpressed silence going on here-- she doesn't have to yield to your what is probably bullying! Probably!

... But then she tilt her head. Just in case, just for a moment:]

Did the Jello planet have lasting effects on your hearing?

[abracafcku]

Did the-- What?

[But hey, at least she's talking at a normal volume now.

Does he lie or tell the truth? Lup told him to go easy on her, but it's hard not to fuck with kids. They're so gullible.]

So she told you about Jello World, huh? That place was a real trip.

[pinkmin]

[She's giving him! A chance! Even if the chance pretty much amounts to "permanently affected by jello, somehow."

...She kind of already knows this is probably not the case. However.]

Yes. It sounded like a real... um. Hoot.

[abracafcku]

[And he'll exploit that chance! Like the jerk he is!]

Oh yeah, a real hoot. If you like not knowing whether the food you picked up is food or your neighbor and you can't really tell if they even care if it was your neighbor?? I'm still not sure if that entire planet was into vore or if it was just like....a thing they didn't care about.

Oh.

And scurvy. I'm like 99% certain we all got scurvy at some point on that plane.

[pinkmin]

[THANKS.]

An extremely confusing place, to put it lightly. Congratulations on overcoming scurvy, though.

[abracafcku]

It was awful! I don't recommend it at all. It's super boring and tastes like salt.

[No. It doesn't. At all. But that's how he thinks it works because he hated eating jello every day for a year. Even transmuted, he felt like the taste lingered.]

[pinkmin]

[There is a light wrinkle of her nose. Too much salt... bad.]

Ew.

I am glad you get to taste other things now?

[abracafcku]

Oh yeah, much better. Well- almost. This place is definitely making me regret tasting again because nothing here is even remotely right.

[necromanswers]

C'mon, she's not Ango. Leave the poor kid alone.

[abracafcku]

She's basically Agnes-Lite. I have to get my kicks somewhere.

[necromanswers]

There are soooo many people here more fun to troll.

[abracafcku]

What? You got a sweet spot for her or something?

[necromanswers]

No.

[Maybe.]

Shut up.

[abracafcku]

Oh.

My gods.

You do! You have a sweet spot for the pink child!

[necromanswers]

I said shut up! Like you're one to talk?!

[pinkmin]

[She's. She's still here. Is this a sibling moment? This seems like a sibling moment.]

[abracafcku]

[It's definitely a sibling moment, but Taako doesn't care if it's broadcast, this is hilarious up until it comes back to bite him in the ass]

I am one to talk because you went and decided we needed to be nice to the kid. Me, on the other hand, have made sure to cultivate an exacting relationship with Ango McDango where he knows I could blast him off the moon at any given point of the day if my mood so suits me.

[necromanswers]

[Bite him when- like, now?]

Taako. My dear darling brother. My sizzling chef. My heart.

When have you ever before in your entire life bitten into something that tastes like absolute garbage, and then told the chef that it's fine? Hmm?

[abracafcku]

[...This is a trap. He knows it's a trap.]

Never. If it's garbage, you tell them so.