video & voice; Story-time for All

[abracafcku]

[The video opens on a bare wall and to the sound of very, very corny fanfare. Then Taako's voice cuts in with the sound of applause.]

Yes, yes, welcome one and all to the greatest day of your lives. Today we have a real treat for you folks, so pull up a chair, take a load off and enjoy this banned text we've managed to procure.

[He clears his throat and a puppet appears on the screen - a non-descript looking human priest wearing dark robes and a blue sash around his neck. The voices that read the following lines are similar, but not the same and anyone who knows both Lup and Taako can probably tell it's the twins taking turns to read the passages. People who don't, however, might have a hard time telling them apart.]

"I used to have a lady love,
she journeyed through the sea,"

[A new puppet appears - a beautiful female mermaid with hair that falls just past her breasts. She slides up from the bottom of the screen and the priest turns to her, fawning all over her.]

"Her fins were as the mourning dove,
a mated pair were we.
Our bodies tangled, hand in glove,
a queen and devotee,"

[As the poem progresses, the priest does some...very not PG-13 things to the mermaid puppet. Eventually, the mermaid pushes the priest away, looking tired.]

"But she was called to rise above,
our bond not meant to be."

[Here the mermaid "puppet" flips a double middle finger at the priest and backflips into the sea, leaving him drenched in water.]

"Though I endure, bereft, belove,
I have her guarantee,
I'll be the one she's thinking of,
a little dove told me."

[The priest pines and waits by the water, pantomiming the lament of a forlorn lover as a bird lands next to him, rolling its eyes. The puppet show ends with a curtain drawing across the screen and then the video shuts off. Taako's voice cuts back in once the video is gone.]

Yeah, so the people here? Raunchy as hell. I love it. But then some people were, y'know, boring and said things like--

[Lup's voice takes over smoothly like they're still the same person talking.]

"If any other colonies can hear this message, please respond. This is Havenwell. We're still alive. The city is safe. We will come get you, no matter how far you are. This is not an automated message. Please respond." That there's a radio transmission from "Colony #56'07'4TM", which, obviously, is home sweet home. Not the most interesting, but I won't deny that the archive visits have been… informative.

Anyone else get something fun?

[OOC: It's a joint post! Replies here can be from Taako, Lup, or both of them. If you have a preference, just let us know in the title of your comment or it'll be a roulette of which twin you'll get.

Feel free to use this post to stir up discussion amongst yourselves regarding the lore contributions!]

Comments

[necromanswers]

[She offers no response, just a sudden burst of helpless giggles.

She's almost three centuries old, and yet.]

[postocular]

[ HUFF. ]

See what I mean?

[necromanswers]

I do. You're precious.

[Never change, Carl.]

This is actually making me crave fish, though, so I might see if the replicator can manage some fillets tonight.

[postocular]

[ +1 for Lup for making him feel like an awkward kid. ]

That'd be cool. It's been a long time since we've actually gotten to have any.

[necromanswers]

[She's good at that sort of thing.]

You got it. Have you got a favourite? I wanna see how elaborate that machine can get.

[postocular]

Not really? I know I should learn to be pickier, but it's hard.

[ Kanye shrug. ]

What's your favorite?

[necromanswers]

Dude I get you. Grow up in a shit environment and you learn to take whatever food that you've got, no questions asked.

[Poor, apocalyptic- same basic concept. Get food? Eat food. Shit food? Still eat food. Or in the twins' case, learn magic to make the shit food taste like the food you're craving.]

Let's see... it's been so long that I don't remember the name of it, but there was this fish Taako used to catch on our homeworld, this sweet-tasting bass that was amazing all on its own, no extra flavouring required. I used to scarf them down by the dozen.

[postocular]

That sounds good. I'd like that if the machine can handle it.

[ If only magic had been a thing back home. Sometimes, he had to focus on something else so he didn't think about how weird some of the stuff he was eating was. Then again, when you're that hungry, snake or possum isn't that bad- if a little charred. ]

[necromanswers]

We'll give it the old college try! I'll get Taako to help me with the flavour, though. He'd remember it better than me.

[Thank god for Prestidigitation, otherwise everything they make would taste a bit weird here. The texture might be off, but at least they can have that much.]

[postocular]

[ Weird textures are fine, he doesn't complain about much. Though he's gotten better at giving Taako opinions on things, even if they're mostly just telling him how good something is. He's trying to develop that palate, at least!! ]

Why do they even call it an old college try? I've never understood that.

[necromanswers]

...Y'know, I actually have noooo idea. I think it's just become one of those old things people say that's lost its original meaning over time.

[postocular]

[ SHRUG. ]

It's kind of like saying something is the cat's pajamas. Cats don't have pajamas, so what's that even supposed to mean, either?

[necromanswers]

Ooh, or the bee's knees. Without even getting into bees not having knees to begin with, why would them having any be considered something great?

Idioms are fucking weird, is what I'm saying.

[postocular]

If they have anything, it's elbows.

[necromanswers]

Can't say I've ever considered the concept of bee elbows. Why those?

[postocular]

Okay, but think about it. Bee legs bend backward kinda like elbows. Knees bend forward.

[necromanswers]

Yeah, but animals are different. And aren't knees just the elbows of the legs?

[postocular]

It makes it funnier if you think about them as elbows and hands instead of feet.

[necromanswers]

Okay, that settles it. One day I'll Polymorph into a bee with little arms and hands instead of legs and walk aaaaaall over your face.

When you least expect it.

[postocular]

Good luck with your weird bee hands, then.