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Hey folks. PSA for you. Name's Lup, I own Affurgato. Congrats to those who've already met my fabulous self.

As a heads up: I'm a lich. Other terms include: undead, corpse-walker, monster, abomination. Someone screamed "The Raven's Misfortune" at me once and I thought that was delightfully poetic.

If you have a problem with this, you can eat my entire ass. If you want to BRING your problem to me, I'll be happy to set YOUR ass on fire.

Now, are there any deeply personal details I ought to know about you in order for us to be friends? Apparently I have trust issues and aren't accustomed to mortal cultural norms.

that's all, have a great day or whatever

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I hope you don't think that we'd let you get away with forgetting about it.

[If she happens to wait until the last day to say anything, she'll be in for a surprise. And perhaps not necessarily the good kind.]

I'd trust that you wouldn't. Still, this is all rather new for me, so I hope you'd forgive me even if I did.

[ Choosing was one step, associating it with a holiday another. Whatever that might lead to? There were months yet, still, to get accustomed to the thought of having one at all. ]

Forgive, yes. But not dunk on? Not a chance.

What motivation... to remember my own newly-decided upon birthday or be shamed for not doing so.

[ She can laugh about it now, at least. ]

That is what I signed up for, with you two. You had better let me have it.

Yeah, kind of a foregone conclusion with us. I can't even apologize, and I'm the nice one.

[Taako would dish it out twice as hard, so best prepare Honerva ahead of time.]

[ At least she had come a considerable distance away from letting them call her whatever name came to mind because she couldn't realize what difference it made until later.

With them there was a later. Hard not to be grateful for that. She tilts her head, giving her a significant look. ]

I know.

[ She'll take a sip of her own drink, before setting it down. ]

As... important as it is to have that settled, you know that isn't quite what I had intended to ask you about.

...I know, [is Lup's echo; she'd expected it at some point, so her posture doesn't change save for a subtle shift of her shoulders, her ears laid flat like a cat lashing its tail. Her lips purse into a neutral look.]

Cor and I have gone our separate ways. I told him that he needs to talk to you as well, so fair warning.

[ While Honerva had been bracing for something along those lines, Lup's warning hits her rather suddenly. Be careful what you ask for, and all. She's quiet for a moment, letting the words sink in while trying to do the rest of the math. ]

He... has been keeping his distance. I had been trying not to let it worry me, but...

[ She'd needed her own downtime, and she'd seen Regis and Ardyn around enough to know it wasn't because he was ill or injured, but maybe he'd needed time to process from whatever he might have been dealing with during that time.

But this statement combined with that rather pointed way Lup had addressed the network... ]

You've been hurting all this time. Lup...

I'm alright. [And she is! She will be. She's handling it.] I needed the reminder. When it comes down to it, you can really only ever count on family.

[Talking dust, Taako had said, years ago. She remembers that night, how worried Barry had been. And it's not something she believes herself, it's not something she could agree with. But gods, sometimes she envies that he could distance himself like that.]

[ At that 'alright', she's already shifting to hug her more firmly. ]

Then count on us. You don't have to bear that alone.

I didn't know for sure until today. It was just a big question mark, just a feeling without confirmation.

[She offers no resistance, settling against the other woman with eyes downcast.]

Now I know. So here I am.

... What took place?

[ Her tone is softer, though her hold remains steadfast. ]

A while back, when our ages were getting all screwy, Cor found me as a lich. Don't think he much liked what he saw.

[He'd explained his reasoning plenty afterward, but this event had been what caused the rift; hard to imagine that her true form hadn't played a factor in his decision. He'd defied her expectations in other unpleasant ways, so why not this too?]

He won't tolerate secrets in his relationships. For someone like me, it's impossible, so... that's the end of it.

[ She makes a displeased sound, a sharp intake of breath, as she lets Lup's words sink in further. ]

Even if I could ever break past my concerns of sharing more with him...

[ He'd promised to be patient, as much as she knew Cor well, even if her own emotions and reason were thrown into orbit whenever he'd hold her close, but she wondered how much she would ever be able to say, if it all became too much for him to hear and accept. ]

I told him not to hurt you. Not to disregard your feelings...

I told the same thing to him of you. [Lup's mouth quirks into a bittersweet smile.] It's an irrational promise. The real mistake was not recognizing that our expectations for one another were so different. I thought...

[Another exhale, her hand tightening around the mug.]

I told him communication was important for this sort of relationship. For multiple people to rotate around one another without falling apart. But he threw it back to me as meaning that everything was on the table, all secrets laid bare. I didn't expect that.

[ Her expression softens at Lup's sad smile, but she also exhales. It's a lot. ]

... We are complex beings. We live on the wind and in the sparkle of a star, bear the weight of centuries and darkness where none willing would ever hope to tread. He does not, and has not, and is still learning that his expectations do not wholly fit those around him. He is still grasping that he cannot force them to fit. I wonder that he cannot handle the reality, in truth... it might have been either one of us that this happened to first. The world just forced your hand...

[Lup half-laughs, though the sound is about as joyless as it gets.]

Well, you know me. I'm pretty lucky. [Her luck's been- great, so great. For years and years.] You're not wrong, though. In terms of life and relationship experience, he's just a baby. It isn't our job to teach him the reality of existences like ours, nor is it his obligation to change. Besides, he doesn't need us any more than we needed him. He has others to keep him warm at night.

[It was just... nice. To be wanted, to have a bit of fun. To say that she regretted all of it would be a lie.]

...I'm glad it was me. I'll shake it off, always do.

[ Her own ears lower. Perhaps of the two of them it was easier for Lup to take the sting of it first, but it still didn't make it fair. ]

... I can't deny the way being around him has felt. To know that it was okay to... have that feeling. Perhaps I've just been seeing someone else in his eyes all this time, that gentleness underneath, but would take my breath away in an instant. I always worried that we would end up hurting one another, that the gap between us was just too wide. But here we are, now...

[ Gently, smoothing back some of Lup's hair. ]

Here we are with these months of... not hearing from him at all, and you having to endure that on your own. That makes it clear enough to me.

Mm.

[Lup can't help nodding along; she'd felt some of that same echo, certain traits he'd shared with people she cared about. It had both helped and hindered things, and she'd worked her way around them. In the end, they probably just make this feel worse than it rightfully should.]

We haven't lost anything that we didn't already know belonged to someone else. Try and hold on to that, I guess.

[He'd been clear about that, as had Lup herself. Their hearts belonged to other people, and whatever this was didn't have to go any deeper. Just because it hurt didn't mean that it wasn't... disposable, in some way. This proves that much.]

[ It couldn't be helped; the pain was real no matter how one tried to rationalize it. Even saying over and over that there was no future in it couldn't stop the present feelings. ]

... I have family to hold on to. Right here. And so do you.

[ Which she hopes is helping. She can't fully imagine how her conversation with Cor might go, but it is more important to focus on the present moment than those dark mental waters. ]

And this does hurt, but we will face it together.

Yep... I'm not worried.

[And she's not, truly. Sad, sure. But not heartbroken, not especially conflicted about it. When things get sad, Lup goes to work; that's how it's always been. She searches for a problem and makes the effort to resolve it, channeling any misery into productivity. Sometimes it works out for the better, other times... not so much. But right now she has a project, and people in her life to keep her focused. That's plenty.]

...Thanks... for coming to check on me.

[ Of course Lup wasn't worried... ever strong, ever adapting. Honerva could be that way herself, even if navigating through her own emotions was a trial, acknowledging them but seeing the larger picture.

Then doubling down on that, with what this hug would allow. ]

... Lup. Always.

[ Just because she could endure, could maintain a front for so long, did not mean that Lup should be left to that. Honerva had long decided that some time ago, even if her own approach to such things still needed work, but that was part of this too. Learning. ]

The stars could fall from the sky. For us... the fact that we are able to speak like this, putting it all into perspective is... good for us. We've been through quite a lot since our arrival here, haven't we. And yet each day is a day more.

[Lup finds herself laughing a bit, lifting a hand to brush over her eye.]

Gods... that's so poetically cheesy. It's very you, you know that? Don't make me laugh...

[She laughs so she won't cry. It's good... it's so good to not be alone, here. It's the reason she'll be okay, and she knows it even if she can recognize the upcoming pangs of that familiar old loneliness in her future. She'll endure, because she hasn't lost what truly does still matter. Her family's here.]

[ At Lup's laugh, she can't help a small flutter of laughter herself. To be the person she was in this moment... to be able to be there for Lup and for them both to be mutually grateful for it. Felt pretty good, despite the hurt that led to this in the first place. How could she not be sentimental? ]

I meant every word. That is what you are signed up for.

I could say the same to you, you know. We could both make a list of grievances if we really thought about it.

[There's certainly no regret in her eyes as she says it, though.]

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