[Text] - Terminally Online

[elbowroom]

[This isn't the first time Jonesy has found herself waking up in a strange place she didn't remember going to sleep in. It isn't the first time a robot has woken her up, either.

The stone slab is new, though. As is the explanation that she's on an entirely different world than the one she knows.

She doesn't believe it at first, until she steps outside into an entire city of robots
- and their claim is further backed up by the fact that none of her implants can connect to a satellite to get her GPS location. Or the fact that the wireless matrix of this place is set up way differently than the matrix she's accustomed to.

There is a wireless network, though. And the robots even gave her a tablet to use. So, of course, Jonesy does what any hacker would do in her position: She searches the internet for answers.

And when she fails to find a quick and easy explanation of how to get home, she goes on the internet to complain.]


ok so ive been running the numbers in my head and its starting to seem very likely that this is all real, and that i'm not just experiencing biofeedback induced brain damage OR trapped in a hyper realistic VR sim from which i cannot escape.

in which case i must ask:

what the FUCK

you kidnap the best hacker in LA , take me to an alternate fucking planet in a city filled with sapient robots and dragons and gods and no one wants me to DO anything??

no hacking, no repairs, no IT work? i didnt get grabbed because someone was planning a cool space heist that they need my skills for? i'm just supposed to hug people?

i am feeling EXTREMELY undervalued here.

if i got picked because of the arms then i'm not hugging anyone. you robots can go fuck yourselves if thats what this is about.

Comments

[daikonrose]

Like I said, it's not everyone! I'm definitely a side character type at best, myself. Anyway, it's just my theory, since it's hard to overlook the proportion of main character types compared to everyone else here.

[elbowroom]

that is simultaneously such a weird way to categorize the people you've been living with for i don't know how long, and kind of a mean way to categorize yourself.

like you got kidnapped by a god! you got whisked away to a robot dimension where you have to use the power of love to save the world! or something! thats some classic isekai protagonist shit.

[Not that she buys into this method of categorizing people, of course, but it's a premise that's kind of fun to engage with.]

personally if we're putting things into those terms i'm like a comic relief side character who shows up once a season. that's my vibe.

[daikonrose]

There's nothing wrong with side characters, though... And is it really weird? Do you think so? Even though this place really DOES have a lot of gorgeous, shockingly talented people?

You do have a point, though... looking at it from that angle, I guess we all would automatically have to qualify for light novel main character.

Comic relief is a good role though! Not too much scrutiny, but you're still a fan favorite, and it's regular work!

[elbowroom]

yeah its kind of weird. both because you keep bringing up how hot everyone is and also it's just kind of strange to compare people to fiction so adamantly. they're real people.

[Its not as though everyone here is an eclectic bunch of characters from various pieces of media, brought together in some kind of jamjar internet roleplay. It's not like Sepiroth is here. That would be ridiculous.

At this point, Jonesy feels like she's ragging a little too hard on this person she barely knows, so she tries to course correct.]

weird isn't bad though, don't take this the wrong way. it's just a peculiarway to look at things.

i'm jonesy, by the way.

[daikonrose]

I know they're real! AND I know they're disproportionately attractive! You'll see what I'm talking about when you start meeting people.

I've thought like this my whole life though... I guess I already knew it was immature. It's just my habit.

Oh, sorry for replying without introducing myself. Kyoko Mogami!

[elbowroom]

thats all right, i didn't introduce myself either. nice to meet you, kyoko.

i'm honesty jones. my friends call me jonesy, and that includes you.

[ That's right, you're friends now. She's decided.]

[daikonrose]

Oh! Thank you very much!! [ That was so fast? She hadn't even thought she'd made a particularly good impression. ] It's nice to meet you!❁

I've been here for a while already, so if you need help with something, please message me anytime!

[elbowroom]

[It doesn't take an especially good impression. Friends are good and Jonesy likes having them - especially when she's otherwise alone in a strange land far from home.]

thanks! i'll definitely take you up on that.

since you've lived here a while, what do people do around here for fun? the robots don't seem like they eat, so i can't imagine there are a bunch of restaurants or bars. are we just supposed to hang out and hug people until they decide we can go home?

[daikonrose]

Skinship IS their number one request and they don't seem to want much else from us, but lots of us get away with being slackers about that.

Most of us just end up finding jobs and getting new hobbies. And it's not a lot, but there actually is a cafe (a cat cafe!!) and also a bar here!

[elbowroom]

we can get money for the skinship thing too though, right?

because as weird and potentially insulting as that is, i've done worse things for a paycheck and i'm not exactly the "settle down and get a job" kind of gal

[daikonrose]

Yes... it's weird and I don't like it, but they do give us money for touching each other. Considering the free housing and food, it actually kinda seems like overkill to me, but I guess they wanted to bribe us with something besides promises of freedom.

Anyway, you definitely don't have to get a job if you don't feel like it.

[elbowroom]

fuck that, they kidnapped me. the least they should be doing is paying me to basically do nothing.

at first i thought the hug thing was because i have a wingspan of like 11 feet, so it felt like they were implying i was like made for hugging. but if the gods are just weird pervs and they're getting everyone to do it, i'm not above holding someone's hand and collecting a paycheck

[daikonrose]

[ 11 feet. Kyoko silently mouths the words to herself, pauses, and then lifts one of her arms straight out so she can look at the distance from her shoulder to her fingertips. How much longer would that arm have to be for her to have an 11 foot wingspan? She can visualize it, but uh. Uh! Huh! ]

That probably would have been my first assumption too, if it was me.

But they're definitely just weirdos. Don't worry.

[elbowroom]

[Its SO inconvenient, Kyoko. She's never not bumping her elbows into things, she hates how long her arms are.]

right well. in that case i guess i can manage a hug or two to keep a roof over my head.

btw, you said there was a cafe around here?

[daikonrose]

Oh, yes! Affurgato. The food there is really delicious, much better than what you can get out of the replicators.

[elbowroom]

oh shit, do they serve real coffee there?

like real, non synthetic coffee? ive always wanted to try that.

[daikonrose]

Really? I'd never even thought about synthetic coffee before I ended up here. But Affurgato's definitely tastes like the real stuff!

[elbowroom]

yeah where im from the real stuff is like super expensive. most food is made from artificially flavored and textured soy. the real stuff is expensive and i can't afford to be spending 40 bucks on a single drink.

speaking of not being able to afford things... i don't suppose I can convince you to come down to affurgato with me and buy me a cup? i'm just a poor newbie, i don't have any money yet.

[That's not true, of course. Jonesy already has her first month's stipend in her account, she's just angling for a free drink and some social interaction.]

[daikonrose]

Whoa, so it's almost like the situation's just a few steps away from what it's like here! You might be the first person to come here from a place like that.

Oh, are they stiffing newcomers these days? [ Good news! Kyoko's a sucker. ] I don't mind! Do you mean right now?

[elbowroom]

in more ways than one. ill tell you about it over coffee.

if you're free, nowish works for me. i just got here so i literally don't have anything else to do right now

[daikonrose]

I'm free until the evening, so now is good! It's at [ an address wow cool ] Will you be able to find it?

text -> action

[elbowroom]

oh yeah, for sure. i have a computer in my brain that makes me great with addresses.

[Just gonna drop that with absolutely no context to back it up.]

be there soon.

[Jonesy had mostly just been wandering around, getting a feel for the city up until this point so she just changes course and heads in the direction that her orientation system tells her the cafe should be.

When Kyoko gets there, she'll see an enormous gibbon loitering outside Affurgato. She's 6'9, thin as a rail, and her arms are really disproportionately long. She wasn't kidding about having a wingspan of 11 feet.]

action!

[daikonrose]

[ A computer brain and an 11 foot wingspan... Kyoko doesn't attempt to respond to that. Truly, what could she even say?

Extremely curious about the sort of person she should be looking for, Kyoko doesn't take too long to head out. Affurgato is just a bit of a trek from her place, though, so Jonesy might still have a short wait before the girl--a modest 5'4 to her towering 6'9--trots up, and comes to a stop a few feet away. ]

Ah. [ She almost points, but resists. Just give her a sec to take this in. ] ... Jonesy, right?

[elbowroom]

Yup! Kyoko, I assume?

[She smiles down at the girl and extends a hand for her to shake.]

Thanks for coming. I don't really know anyone in the city yet, so I appreciate it.

[daikonrose]

[ A bit stunned though she might still be, manners will always carry Kyoko through. ]

Y-yes! Nice to meet you!

[ She shook that offered hand, and then twisted to reach into her purse to produce a palm-sized cloth bag tied off with ribbon. ]

Ah, it's not much, but--I wanted to bring a welcome gift.