[audio]

[promittere]

Good evening.

[The voice that comes on is even and softly accented with what one could presume is an English accent, were England a place that existed for you.]

For those of you that don't know me yet, my name is Ignis. I'm here with something of an offer - as I'm sure most of you are aware, the ingredients the replicators seem capable of producing are strange. Some of them are completely foreign to me, but I'm something of a hobbyist chef. I know my compatriots are likely to eat my food with few complaints as they would not wish to hurt my feelings, and that simply won't do.

What I am offering is, of course, meals cooked for you. Nothing that will poison you, of course, but something to help acclimate me to the strange new foods I have at my disposal. If you're interested in trying, feel free to stop by.

[He leaves his address, and then signs off.]

Comments

audio;

[promittere]

[Poor Magolor. Your starry eyes are for nothing, but it's okay.]

I appreciate that you've managed to restrain yourself - and you're welcome to come by most days. There's not many obligations I need to hold to here.

[begguiling]

Life's a little slow here, huh? But yours is about to get a lot busier if you're throwing out an offer like this. You get many bites so far? No pun intended!

[promittere]

It was a welcome change of pace, at first. And I've gotten more bites than I was expecting, if I'm being honest.

[begguiling]

I doubt a chef, even a hobbyist, can really understand just how desperate some of us are . . . I've been spoiled by my ship's cold storage for a long time now. My roommate's no better off! I don't know what his excuse is, though. So I'm sure half this place is in our same position, if not even more.

[promittere]

I shouldn't be surprised that there are so many of you that can't cook... Perhaps I should offer lessons instead.

[begguiling]

"If you teach a man to fish," right? Something like that. Well, I'll be there to eat everyone else's experiments if you do go that route. Hehehe!