[video]

[brokeforgood]

[The start of the video feed is... the top of this girl's head. She's grumbling to herself--]

Seriously? No tiktok, but I guess this'll do-- I should probably be grateful--

Oh! Shit! Live, already? [She holds up the communicator to capture her whole face. Farrah's grinning, and she scrambles to stand.] Sorry guys-- total boomer moment. Okay, here we go-- I'll have to do the music myself, but---

[She props the communicator up against a wall, to give everyone a full body view once she scrambles into frame again. Farrah's a relatively small teenager, wearing an adult man's jacket several sizes too big. She throws that off, and the weird girl has a fancy vest that's too big for her under that too. And then she starts to... do a tik tok dance. It's the Git Up, if anyone's curious. Also, she has to hum the music herself. It's a weird fourteen seconds for everyone, okay. Then she scrambles to scoop up the tablet again.]

That was me, Farrah Salieri, doing The Git Up. Like, Follow, Subscribe-- or tell me all about your favorite time that you've been kidnapped!

Comments

[awooligan]

[He hates that he would indeed Like, Follow, Subscribe if he could, even if he thinks this is pretty dumb. That's partly the reason why he's so charmed.]

This right here is the most normal this place has been in months
As far as kidnappings go this one isn't the worst but that isn't really a high bar
Last time fucking sucked

[brokeforgood]

Oooooooh~

did u get kidnapped by a evil choir teacher too

[awooligan]

No thankfully, holy shit
Evil witch bitch with a circus

[brokeforgood]

a circus?!?!

no fair! i was in a fuckin boarding school!

[awooligan]

Trust me, my weird boarding school experience was better
Not just because she put me in a creepy outfit

[brokeforgood]

yea that’s fair, the choir dude didn’t dress me up rly. just wanted me to die.

what’s the catch here?

cw trafficking mention, bad parent/home situation

[awooligan]

Yeah so I'd still take what you had, no offense
Apparently she was going to sell me off
At least someone wanting me dead was kinda normal thanks to the last few years with the guy that my mom was married to

Anyway, the catch here is that if you want to buy anything you'd better be comfortable with touching people
And weird shit happens
And sometimes giant worms come to eat everything, which doesn't seem like it should be a different category than "weird shit happens" but it is

cw: also bad home life mention. thanks we are the tigers.

[brokeforgood]

lol same, ppl are fucked. like why do u want me dead so bad i am literally just a shitty kid who probs hates herself enough already!!

and fuck step parents. mine was probs so relieved when i died. got her perfect shitty family back.

stranger danger = good. giant worms. got it.

[awooligan]

[Wow, relatable trauma really streamlines that whole bonding process! He likes this girl already. Her not making a big deal out of any of it is way more comfortable for him that the people that would look at him like he was a pitiable dog when he breezed by it, or worse, stumbled into the truth before he was ready. Real bummer that she died...]

I'm Cliff btw
The good news is that everyone I've met here either also doesn't like being touched or don't need to be told to back off because they don't just go around getting handsy
Kind of the same boat for everyone here so they're good about it usually

Oh and if you don't know how to cook you are so screwed until you find someone who can

[brokeforgood]

farrah salieri. nice to meet u or w/e, assuming ur real and not like... a trick or something.

great. u tell me that everyones not a total creeper expecting me to be relieved only to tell me im gonna starve. i didnt think id miss spongebob's breakfast so much...

[awooligan]

I was going to question your "IF UR REAL" paranoia but then you said Spongebob cooked for you

[brokeforgood]

ugh yea that makes me sound crazy but w/e i’ve been known for worse than girl who thinks spongebob squarepants is real.

bc he is. and krabby patties are fucking delicious.

[awooligan]

Bummer

[What the heck was she all known as, if that's not the worst... Then again,]

Bigfoot was a dance instructor at my boarding school so I guess I can't say it's impossible

If it isn't weird I can hook you up with a place that has kickass leftovers
Half of the people there are cool with random drop ins

[brokeforgood]

did ur bigfoot fight abe lincoln too? [the temptation to just like... leave this is so powerful. farrah actually hesitates a few moments. ... but it'd also be a super bummer if she starved, so...]

and it's not like poisoned or anything

[awooligan]

[what the heck...]

Probably

[Nothing is too weird anymore, even if he's going to continue to complain about how weird it is.]

They're leftovers
That's the food that's left over from dinner
Do you think they poisoned themselves and stuck the rest in the fridge, or what?

[brokeforgood]

idk!! i dont know them or their lives!

legally u have to tell me if they're going to poison me

[awooligan]

I don't have a lot of experience with the law but that sounds fake, but how about I just eat some in front of you first? Does that work?

[brokeforgood]

it’s not fake! i know a lawyer, it’s completely true.

but since she’s not here i guess that’ll work.

[awooligan]

Uh huh

[And, uh. Hm. Guess he'll turn the video on, then, so she can actually see who the heck she's talking to and be reassured that it's a fellow teen asking to meet up.]

Uh, I haven't been here as long as a lot of others, but I can try to answer stuff. Do you want to do this now or later?