[video]

[brokeforgood]

[The start of the video feed is... the top of this girl's head. She's grumbling to herself--]

Seriously? No tiktok, but I guess this'll do-- I should probably be grateful--

Oh! Shit! Live, already? [She holds up the communicator to capture her whole face. Farrah's grinning, and she scrambles to stand.] Sorry guys-- total boomer moment. Okay, here we go-- I'll have to do the music myself, but---

[She props the communicator up against a wall, to give everyone a full body view once she scrambles into frame again. Farrah's a relatively small teenager, wearing an adult man's jacket several sizes too big. She throws that off, and the weird girl has a fancy vest that's too big for her under that too. And then she starts to... do a tik tok dance. It's the Git Up, if anyone's curious. Also, she has to hum the music herself. It's a weird fourteen seconds for everyone, okay. Then she scrambles to scoop up the tablet again.]

That was me, Farrah Salieri, doing The Git Up. Like, Follow, Subscribe-- or tell me all about your favorite time that you've been kidnapped!

Comments

[unpocoloco]

[A man dressed like he's straight from the twenties appears on video to clap. Once the camera is positioned right.]

Well done, Farrah! I'm not familiar with this dance but it looks like you did good.

The kidnapping probably depends on your definition. But I'd like to ask... what is a boomer?

text;

[carbungle]

[It actually feels kind of rare to come across someone familiar with social media beyond this place. Colour him curious. (Though what tiktok is, he has no idea.)]

(￣ー￣)b

i think there was like 3 kidnap attempts when i was growing up lol cant say they wouldve been my fave anything

[awooligan]

[He hates that he would indeed Like, Follow, Subscribe if he could, even if he thinks this is pretty dumb. That's partly the reason why he's so charmed.]

This right here is the most normal this place has been in months
As far as kidnappings go this one isn't the worst but that isn't really a high bar
Last time fucking sucked

[Video]

[5thchild]

What is a boomer?

[Video]

[brokeforgood]

You know, like a grumpy old person.

[brokeforgood]

Oooooooh~

did u get kidnapped by a evil choir teacher too

[awooligan]

No thankfully, holy shit
Evil witch bitch with a circus

[brokeforgood]

a circus?!?!

no fair! i was in a fuckin boarding school!

[brokeforgood]

uh oh watch out here kids we got a rich kid who got kidnapped as a child!!!! [you know as opossed to her]

[carbungle]

lol kid urself ive gotta have like 5 yrs on u

anyway i didnt ACTUALLY get kidnapped i had a solid protection squad around. so 1/2 counts

[He will not deny the rich part.]

[brokeforgood]

if fame = age im like 100

watch out we got a rich kid w bodyguards

[brokeforgood]

If you have to ask... [u know???]

It's like. An old person. A baby boomer.

[carbungle]

and in humbleness ur like 5, got it

[brokeforgood]

p much

girls gotta work w what shes got, u kno?

anyway u still have to pick a favorite. so far i like this one. whens the murdering start?

[carbungle]

no murdering. only hugs. grow a heart and possibly extra arms

unless u r secretly a child murderer in which case: id advise against it

[brokeforgood]

wtf no im not a freak like that!!!!

getting murdered sux i wouldnt do that to someone

not even if they rly deserved it OR even if they murdered me first.

hugs sound lame.

[awooligan]

Trust me, my weird boarding school experience was better
Not just because she put me in a creepy outfit

[brokeforgood]

yea that’s fair, the choir dude didn’t dress me up rly. just wanted me to die.

what’s the catch here?

[carbungle]

[The people who get dragged here are so wildly different in backstory he can't even tell if she's serious.]

watch out we got an edgelord kid who doesnt like hugs

cw trafficking mention, bad parent/home situation

[awooligan]

Yeah so I'd still take what you had, no offense
Apparently she was going to sell me off
At least someone wanting me dead was kinda normal thanks to the last few years with the guy that my mom was married to

Anyway, the catch here is that if you want to buy anything you'd better be comfortable with touching people
And weird shit happens
And sometimes giant worms come to eat everything, which doesn't seem like it should be a different category than "weird shit happens" but it is

cw: also bad home life mention. thanks we are the tigers.

[brokeforgood]

lol same, ppl are fucked. like why do u want me dead so bad i am literally just a shitty kid who probs hates herself enough already!!

and fuck step parents. mine was probs so relieved when i died. got her perfect shitty family back.

stranger danger = good. giant worms. got it.

[unpocoloco]

Baby boomer... [He frowns.] oh! You mean after World War Two. That boom. Oh no. No, no, no. I was born nineteen hundred. Turn of the century!

[awooligan]

[Wow, relatable trauma really streamlines that whole bonding process! He likes this girl already. Her not making a big deal out of any of it is way more comfortable for him that the people that would look at him like he was a pitiable dog when he breezed by it, or worse, stumbled into the truth before he was ready. Real bummer that she died...]

I'm Cliff btw
The good news is that everyone I've met here either also doesn't like being touched or don't need to be told to back off because they don't just go around getting handsy
Kind of the same boat for everyone here so they're good about it usually

Oh and if you don't know how to cook you are so screwed until you find someone who can

[brokeforgood]

farrah salieri. nice to meet u or w/e, assuming ur real and not like... a trick or something.

great. u tell me that everyones not a total creeper expecting me to be relieved only to tell me im gonna starve. i didnt think id miss spongebob's breakfast so much...

[brokeforgood]

Oh, yeah, you're good then. I don't know why, but boomers are so fuckin' grumpy. People from before that are normally fine.