The First | Text | Help Pls

[firstbump]

Hello my name is Ardbert. I need to learn how to cook immediately. I'm willing to pay with touching. Nothing inappropriate. Thank you.

((OOC: For the record, Ardbert is stupid, and has told no one that Emet-Selch/Hades is gone yet. He will accept multiple offers! Corresponding log is here.))

Comments

text;

[necromanswers]

Come to the professionals, my dude, the restaurant's open right now & it's not busy.

[firstbump]

Its important that I learn how but I might come order something thank you.

[necromanswers]

nah man that's what I'm saying, it's slow so come by and I'll show you how to make something simple, you can take it with you

my rates are hella fair

[firstbump]

I get it now. Thank you I will come over. Is it okay if I bring Hythlodaeus? I can't leave him behind.

[necromanswers]

I don't mind. Ditto can keep an eye on him while we work, he'll be fine.

[scourgingstars]

i haven't much talent, but i would welcome a distraction if you would like to come over. no repayment needed by any means.

[firstbump]

Thank you Ardyn.

[Sent a moment later, private]

Hades is gone. Era's not eating much. We

[scourgingstars]

[...Ah. When it rained, as the saying went. Ardyn wanted to be crushed beyond articulation, and on some level he was. Hades was his dear friend, the only person close to understanding what Ardyn was and how conflicted such things made him. After Aera and Somnus both, he was just...tired. Tired beyond belief, and struggling to keep control of his form under such strain.]

please come over

i can't do much but we can figure it out. ignis taught me a fair range of basic cooking, surely we'll find something for the pair of you.

private

[firstbump]

[Ardbert has no clue. All he knows is that the leftovers are gone and he can't just eat everything raw. No protein. And Era's not eating. Hythlo deserves better.]

All right. I'm bringing play so. Hi though. Am row. Gods dammit. Our son.

[Text to speech fail. He doesn't care to edit.]

private

[scourgingstars]

Hythlodaeus, yes.

i'll be here.

[shroudedsecrets]

... This does not simply seem a simple request to obtain a new skill.

[ He's not very subtle that something isn't right, at least. ]

[firstbump]

[He's a Warrior. A tank. His job is literally to piss things off so badly they attack him over everyone else. Being subtle isn't in his skill set.]

Hello. I know. That's why I offered to pay. Probably pay a lot.

[shroudedsecrets]

It will take time to learn. Even to grasp the basics it will not be an immediate result. You are aware of that, yes?

[firstbump]

I know. But if people help me make meals until I know how to do it myself maybe we won't go hungry.

[And he's too emotionally strained from the situation to entirely hide the severity of the situation.]

[shroudedsecrets]

You should have awareness of at least one place that can assist you with such a need in this time. Focus, and you will know where to turn.

[iustaegis]

Hello! It seems you have a few offers already, but if you need more, I wouldn't mind teaching you a few recipes.

[firstbump]

It wouldn't hurt to have a few more. Thank you.

[iustaegis]

Of course. Where do you live? If you are not busy now, I will gladly come over to help.

[firstbump]

[Oh hells, he didn't think this through.]

I can send you the address. Hold on.

[There's the address.]

There. Maybe you can show me how to use the replicator?

[iustaegis]

[ He doesn't know how to use the replic-- this is an emergency.

But also, isn't that Era's and Asphodelus' address...? She didn't know they gained a new roommate! ]

Oh, yes, of course! I'll be over right away.

[Audio]

[original_is_best]

I can give you a list of time and temperatures to cook a steak according to it's weight and thickness.

[One had to be precise about these things.]

[Audio for Verstael, Text for Ardbert]

[firstbump]

[Okay, that's a bit... specific. Not precisely what he was looking for, but he'll take anything he can get at this point. Also, the sound of another voice makes him start. He's not used to hearing voices anymore, and it's only been a handful of days.]

I suppose that will be useful eventually. But I can't exactly cook one yet and I don't know how temperatures work very well. Only crafts folk and researchers had thermometers back home.

[Audio]

[original_is_best]

Then I suggest you familiarize yourself with them. Thermometers are simple enough to use, even for the untrained.

There are also visual cues one can look for whilst cooking to determine if it is finished yet or not.

Cooking is a simple task of measurement and monitoring.

[Audio]

[firstbump]

[The guy isn't meaning to be condescending. He's probably someone who thinks about big things all the time. Someone who spends all their time researching. Speech to text isn't good enough for getting his point across, and he doesn't want to look like an idiot if it fails to get something he says right. He switches himself to audio and tries to keep the frustration out of his voice because it isn't fair.]

Here's the thing: easy things are complicated for me right now. I'm not used to being able to do anything physical, and my mind almost entirely forgot things like how hands work. Which is to say you can't have known any of that, but that's what I'm dealing with right now.

[Audio]

[original_is_best]

[Hmm, definitely a strange thing to say.

Which meant he needed to pry for more information.]

Were you previously comatose?

[The question was sincere rather than condescending. Clearly he wanted an explanation, and if he had any inkling he was being insensitive he wasn't showing it.]